Muslim Womanhood...Muslim Motherhood

IlmFest on 31st December 2011 in London

2011-12-27T00:53:00.001Z

Join me on my Facebook page for da'wah updates, inspiration and hopefully more.

2011-12-27T00:48:00.000Z

See you there.My facebook page https://www.facebook.com/FatimaBarkatulla

The UK's largest conference of 2011! Insha Allah.

2011-10-09T20:34:00.000+01:00

Mercy Mission TV is online now!

2011-09-27T22:32:00.001+01:00

Looking out of the window together

2011-09-06T06:25:00.001+01:00

Writing our family mission statement

When we first got married, we found that Allah had blessed us with a shared sense of principles, a love of laughter and an irresistible chemistry. 12 years and 4 children later we have experienced the good times and the not so good times, death of loved ones and birth of fresh hope, but have emerged with a greater admiration for one another's qualities, with a deeper love and a greater ability to overlook each other's idiosyncrasies and just say sorry. Most importantly we realised that our family unit was so important to us that we had the strong desire to explore and articulate what kind of a family we wanted to be by writing our family mission statement.

First of all we discussed why we felt we needed to write it down – we didn't want a family without direction, we didn't want to have major regrets as parents on hindsight and saw the benefit of a mission statement as a binding code that our family could come back to if we ever careened off course. We also wanted to leave a legacy behind that we had worked towards. So we spent ½ an hour every other night for a month reading a book about visioning together. My husband had been on a visioning and leadership course earlier in the year and he went through the notes with me bit by bit every night. I remember feeling really excited after each session as we slowly and carefully looked to the future together – the architects of the beautiful family we wanted.

As we wrote our family mission statement little by little we had to be willing to take apart what brought out the best in our family, which principles we wanted to live by and what kind of a family culture we would like to create. We also had to look our own personal shortcomings squarely in the face and say: I'm going to change that– my family is worth it. We thought of the most descriptive words we could to express the characteristics we would strive to embody as parents, spouses and family and community members including what we would regularly do to renew ourselves.

The mission statement ended with a short description of our vision for each member of our family in 10 years time – where do we hope to be then? Even if we are destined to leave this earth before then, we hope our intentions will please Allah and be a source of reward for us.
What occurred to me as we shared personal visions for ourselves was that, though we were different in our approaches, we essentially wanted the same things and I was moved by how important it was to my husband to help me achieve what I wanted in life. He didn't feel the need to assert his male authority by putting his ambitions first, but he genuinely saw my happiness as an integral part of his. All in all a bonding experience that I'd recommend to every couple who knows their family is definitely worth it!

Use this mission statement builder:
http://www.franklincovey.com/msb/

Start Your ‘Guilt-Free’ Ramadan Here

2011-07-17T21:35:00.000+01:00

Start Your ‘Guilt-Free’ Ramadan Here

Sisters Conference July 16th 2011...be there!

2011-06-09T00:56:00.001+01:00

Walking the Walk

2011-05-19T04:28:00.001+01:00

Etiquettes of the Student of Knowledge Part 1

Ask yourself for a moment: "Will the knowledge I have, be a proof for me or against me on the Day of Judgement?" Are we seeking knowledge and consuming literature only to become one of those whom Allah describes as 'donkeys carrying books' - merely bearing a burden, with no idea of the value of what we carry or intention to act in accordance to it? Fatima Barkatulla reminds us that if our 'ilm is above average, our worship of Allah should also be above average and although knowledge won't make us sinless, it should certainly make us sin- less!

The great scholars of the past would strive to develop certain personal qualities and observe certain etiquettes towards their teachers and fellow students. Muhammad ibn Sireen, the student of Abu Hurairah (r) said "They used to learn manners just as they used to learn knowledge" and Abdullah bin Mubarak the first century scholar said "Good manners is almost equivalent to two-thirds of knowledge." So what are some of the attributes that a student of knowledge should be distinguished by?

Here are just some of the personal qualities we can develop in ourselves to be true to the path we are taking:

Striving for sincerity: With the correct intention, seeking knowledge is one of the greatest acts of worship. So let us intend from it to draw closer to Allah and please Him first and foremost. Our intentions should be to practice what we are learning in our daily lives and be better worshippers of Allah, to remove ignorance from ourselves and others, to preserve the teachings of Allah and the Messenger for our generation as well as the next and defend the religion of Allah. Through sincerity we seek Allah's blessing in our efforts. The Tabi'ee scholar Sufyan ath-Thawri said "We began seeking knowledge for other than the sake of Allah, but knowledge refused to be sought for other than Allah's sake." Having multiple intentions, like the Sahaba did, will maximise our rewards so we must deliberate over and correct our intentions regularly.

Avoiding sincerity corrupters: Purifying our intentions is a continuous process as Shaitan constantly tries to taint them. Some key things to avoid are: seeking status, fame, trying to draw attention to ourselves or seeking knowledge merely to compete with or debate people. Neither should we seek knowledge solely for financial gain. The best way to counteract Riyaa' or showing off – which the Prophet (SAW) described as 'hidden shirk' is to increase in our private acts of worship so that there are acts of worship we do that no one but Allah knows about - not even our spouses! One of the first people to be thrown into the fire on the Day of Judgement will be a scholar who taught people merely to be praised, so we need to be vigilant lest something that we think is an asset becomes a liability.

Clinging to the Qur'an and Sunnah and Consensus of the scholars: The student should give special attention to the Qur'an- reciting it with correct tajweed, memorising it, understanding it and applying it, because it is the word of our Creator and the foundation of the Islamic sciences. And she should study the Sunnah of the Prophet (SAW) with the guidance of scholars, because the student cannot just pick up a hadeeth book and start applying everything in it as she will not know if the hadeeth is one that is to be applied generally or specifically or if it was abrogated or not etc. Carefully observing the aspects of shari'ah upon which there is consensus of the scholars is imperative as their consensus is binding upon the Ummah and through it one can avoid a lot of confusion.

Acting upon ones knowledge: The fruit of knowledge is action. Our knowledge is not benefitting us if it is not impacting our everyday lives – our beliefs, manners, acts of worship and dealings with others. When we learn the virtues of certain acts and the prohibition of others; or when it is established that something is without doubt a command of Allah or of the Prophet (SAW) we – as students- must be the first to strive to implement what we have learnt. The Prophet mentioned about this that: "The Qur'an is a proof for you or against you."

Calling to Allah and defending the Shari'ah: Being a carrier of the Prophet's inheritance- knowledge, the student will have a higher level of responsibility in terms of calling people to Allah and defending the shari'ah – not just from people who seek to distort it from outside Islam, but also those who have fallen into innovations in the religion from within. It is the true scholars and people of knowledge of every generation, who protected the religion so that it could be passed on to the next generation unchanged. This includes defending the Prophet (SAW) from attacks on his character and prophethood. As one of the scholars said: "We may not be able to defend the Prophet (SAW) physically, as the Sahabah did, but we will defend his honour..."

Wisdom in ones words and actions: The wise person is the one who puts things in their right places. The student of knowledge must evaluate what the priorities are in any given situation. Sometimes she may have to deal gently in one situation with one type of person and more directly in another setting with another. So for example, if there is a person in front of her who does not pray or fast, her priority in doing da'wah to that person is not to call them to observing hijab. Rather, the prayer comes first and then the other pillars of Islam and these will help that person to achieve practising Islam properly. Sometimes it may not be wise to discuss certain subjects in front of certain people.

Being open minded: The student should avoid argumentation about things that scholars legitimately differ upon – matters of ijtihad. There are many areas with legitimate differences of opinion amongst scholars and they should not be made a basis for partisanship or hatred and enmity. The Sahabah themselves had differences of opinion about various matters. Studying the different opinions should make a student more accommodating and understanding and not force the opinion he follows, upon others. As for matters that there is consensus about, then the student should teach and correct people with regards to them with wisdom.

Striving hard: The student of knowledge will have to be willing to use his time, money, body and energy in the pursuit if knowledge. He must be disciplined and organised which also means avoiding wasting time in useless pursuits. He may have to sleep less, strive harder, spend money, sacrifice and be willing to travel and work hard to seek that knowledge. When other people are playing, he will be concerning himself with benefitting the Ummah. When others are amusing themselves, he will be finding ways to benefit himself in the next world. As Imam Ash-Shafi'ee said about seeking knowledge:

"O my Brother you will never gain knowledge without possessing six [qualities]; I will inform you of these in detail and with clarity: Sharpness [of the mind], eagerness [to learn], striving hard and having the means; And the company of a teacher and a long length of time!"

Patience: Knowledge takes time to seek as well as to settle in one's mind. It is a step by step process, so if a student skips a basic step and tries to study something more advanced without the proper foundational knowledge, he will trip up and make mistakes later on. The student has to be patient and seek knowledge in an orderly and structured way. This may take a long time and in reality, is a lifelong process that the student has to be patient with and persevere upon. If there is something that the student doesn't understand, he has to be patient in finding out about it properly before forming an opinion about it. Patience is also needed when engaging with ones community and with people. It is inevitable that some people will offend or hurt us in some way, but the Student of knowledge has a higher degree of responsibility to patiently bear some of the annoyances that he faces from society.

Zuhd and Wara: The basic level of zuhd is avoiding attachment to this life by abandoning the things that Allah has forbidden. The scholars describe the zuhd that people of knowledge and high standing with Allah have: that they should also stay away from things that their permissibility is disputed and things which are luxuries among the Halal matters and things that will busy one from the remembrance of Allah. Wara' is having an extra level of piety wherein one is extra careful will regards to even permissible things that might lead one to fall into forbidden matters.

Humility: the more our knowledge increases, the more our humility should increase, because we realise how much we don't know! We should regard ourselves as sinful and others as forgiven. Honour and the respect of others, is something that is bestowed upon us by Allah as the Prophet (SAW) said in an authentic hadeeth: "Whoever humbles himself for Allah, then Allah will raise him"

Some characteristics may be deeply entrenched in us but, the soul is like a wild horse that we must tame by continuously forcing ourselves to do what we want it to do. At first, taming it will be painful as it resists change. But over time the soul can be trained and habituated to good, even becoming addicted to doing what pleases Allah and avoiding evil. Some of the scholars advised that if you want to develop a certain characteristic or habit – do it for 40 days and it will become a part of you. Why not try it?

Have Baby - Will Study

2011-02-06T02:49:00.001Z

Have Baby - Will Study

Fatima Barkatulla

Many of us are worried that when a baby comes along, our knowledge seeking endeavours will disappear into oblivion...but do they really have to? It is true that our study methods will need to be adjusted and it'll be a time to concentrate on certain subjects over others – but with a bit of preparation, we can enrich our minds and keep our Iman sky-high at that crucial time when many women experience the 'Baby Blues'.

Here are some top ways to keep the juices of knowledge flowing:

1. Qur'an CDs or MP3 recordings of Surahs that you are memorising or revising ready on your mobile phone or other device and set them up in a place that'll be easy for you to relax and breastfeed whilst listening and absorbing the words. Baby will be soaking up the barakah of the Qur'an too!

2. Arabic lectures are a great learning aid if you have been studying Arabic language. Improve your command of the language by having CD or MP3 lectures in Arabic about subjects that you are already familiar with, like the stories of the Prophets. Listen to a CD once and jot down some of the new vocabulary to look up in a dictionary later. Then keep listening to it again and again - by the third time you listen you'll be amazed at how much more you understand and your overall command of Arabic and its expressions will vastly improve.

3. Listen to or watch on-line lectures on your laptop, phone or iPad while you breastfeed. Explanations of important treatises and books are all available to download on-line. Alhamdulillah.

4. Keep a journal, instead of writing formal notes which might be difficult, you could have it by your side and jot down any amazing thoughts about the things you've been listening to. Motherhood itself opens a whole new vista for us, giving us insights we never had before.

5. Revision cards and diagrams are worth preparing before baby. Summaries each subject you have studied in the past and have them on easy to read revision cards or on a giant diagram or even stuck around the house. If you have been studying classical texts which summarise a particular subject (mutoon) then you could revise by reading them.

6. Find a private tutor to come to your house weekly, when things have settled down a bit, to memorise Qur'an or study Arabic or a text with.

7. Weekly Skype lessons with a Qur'an or Arabic tutor or even a friend who will listen to your memorisation. That way, you can do things from the comfort of your home at a time and pace that suits you.

A good feeding pillow is indispensible at this time and I would stress that it is only a good idea to start thinking about studying once baby is feeding well and thriving and you have recovered from the birth. Once baby settles into a routine, try to study a little every day or every other day and be careful not to let the watching and listening become addictive - baby needs your attention most of the time! But be sure to take advantage of the world of knowledge that has been made accessible to us through the internet. You'll be astonished at what's out there, waiting to be discovered and baby will benefit from having a mum that is keeping the remembrance of Allah alive in her life. After all, you'll be passing all that wisdom down to her too!

An edited version of this article appeared in SISTERS Magazine.

Is the reign of 'tyrranical rule' coming to an end soon?

2011-02-02T00:47:00.001Z

Hudhaifah bin Al-Yaman reported that the Messenger of Allah sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam said,

"Prophethood (meaning himself) will remain with you for as long as Allah wills it to remain, then Allah will raise it up wherever he wills to raise it up. Afterwards, there will be a Caliphate that follows the guidance of Prophethood remaining with you for as long as Allah wills it to remain. Then, He will raise it up whenever He wills to raise it up. Afterwards, there will be a reign of violently oppressive [The reign of Muslim kings who are partially unjust] rule and it will remain with you for as long as Allah wills it to remain. Then, there will be a reign of tyrannical rule and it will remain for as long as Allah wills it to remain. Then, Allah will raise it up whenever He wills to raise it up. Then, there will be a Caliphate that follows the guidance of Prophethood."

Then Hudhaifah said, "The Prophet stopped speaking." [As-Silsilah As-Sahihah, vol. 1, no. 5]

Beyond the veil: London's burka wearers go on the defensive | Life & Style

2010-11-05T13:39:00.000Z

Well, I didn't exactly say everything that this article says that I did...but any way...

Beyond the veil: London's burka wearers go on the defensive | Life & Style

Welcome to the world.

2010-10-24T23:17:00.004+01:00

Sometimes, our generation of parents, due to how we cringe at some of the things we were into as children and because we know about their harms - want to do all we can to protect our children from following a similar path. But sometimes we go to the other extreme and I fear for our children when I see it happening because it can be counterproductive.

I saw a girl the other day, the lovely daughter of someone I know who is very strict with regards to television viewing. I mean, this persons children aren't allowed to watch television with other children when they are watching cartoons and stuff like that. I understand because I have read about the negative impact of television viewing and I don't have a TV at home, but if my children request watching TV when they are elsewhere, I do allow them, depending on what it is, as I want them to

1. Learn how to use the TV responsibly and be selective - not to look at things that are not allowed and music etc.

2. Not crave the TV or feel that they were deprived, and then as soon as they are old enough to - sneak away and binge on it! (Unfortunately one of my friends experienced this...when she didn't have a TV, her children as teenagers began going to friends houses to watch TV, so eventually she got one, and sat and watched selective programs with them - that way, she felt she had some control and could teach them how to view things.

3. Realise that although the TV is not an impermissible object in and of itself, it has the potential to be used in a halal or an impermissible way...we've got to use it for any good we can.

4. Watch beneficial programmes: sports and documentaries (My son and I watched this amazing documentary about the Solar System the other day on Discovery HD at my mum's house. Subhan Allah!)

5. Realise that TV is overrated - reading an intriguing book, going out to explore London, playing football at the park, visiting museums, seeing breathtaking places and meeting real people is much more enjoyable.

We happened to be at the same house together and the girl's mother wasn't there for a while. When she saw the television in the house, some of the children asked if they could watch a particular cartoon and the little girl said quite excitedly: "My mum's not here so I can too!!"

I felt quite sad to hear this and wondered if the strictness I'd seen, was not having a detrimental effect on that little girl and the way she viewed her mother. Would she grow up and feel free when she left home, resenting her mother for constantly not allowing her to do some of the things that are not haram, but are permissible? I wouldn't tell the mum because I think she might overreact...but it was explained to the little girl that she should respect her mums wishes whether she was there or not and the children were taken to do something else instead.

It made me think however, about how we've really got to be careful as parents. We've got to be facilitators, best friends: showing our children why we see things the way we do - enrolling them into our vision. And introducing the world to them. Showing them that the world contains beautiful things that will benefit them and harmful things that only lead to their detriment and that we should avoid.

It's difficult sometimes to get the balance right. We don't want them to be spineless, to follow the crowd, to trivialise things that our Creator takes seriously or to not speak out when someone has to speak out. They have to be willing to go against the grain at times...but is that something you can force someone to do? I think inspiring them, and setting a good example ourselves will probably be the way forward - admitting our shortcomings when we need to and showing them that Allah is with them if they move towards Allah...

The world is out there, and they will have to go into it without us. They haven't experienced things the way we have - they have their own biographies - not our baggage. One day, they will be out there, without us. And that is when our nurturing, our teaching them responsibility will insha Allah kick in. But how can it if they've never even been allowed to take responsibility - to be in charge of the remote control - so to speak. They might make mistakes. But didn't we? Learning to ride a bike is actually about learning how NOT to lose your balance. By falling off, time and time again a child eventually learns how -NOT to fall off.

As I heard one sister put it:
Our role as parents is to introduce them TO the world, not protect them FROM the world.

Another saying of a scholar I was told some time ago was:
"Nurture your children for a time other than your own times."

I remember my mother did that with me many times. She would, instead of getting angry and being dictatorial, calmly talk to me about why she saw things the way she did. It meant spending time with me and talking about herself and her past and her worldview. But I was much wiser by the end of those talks - much more able to appreciate what she was saying.

May Allah help us to get the balance right, to show our children how wonderful, living as Muslims is - not just as a list of don'ts but a world full of possibilities.

Steps To Allah Annual Conference - Reclaiming Our Religion - Jan 2nd 2011

2010-10-21T22:50:00.004+01:00

http://www.stepstoallah.com/conference/

Why study Shirk?

2010-06-04T23:19:00.005+01:00

"We are Muslims! We believe in One God, we don't need to study shirk! There are other problems that the Ummah has!"

Right? Hmmmmm. My mum just came back from Kashmir, wanting to experience the legendary beauty of that land. She came across a Dargah and went to see what happened there. She found that inside a man asked her for money to 'benefit' from the shrine of the dead Sufi Sheikh (who may have been a truly pious man) who was buried in the building. She refused and he kept insisting. Somehow she managed to avoid him and went further in. She saw that at a wall of the shrine people had tied hundreds of strings/cloths into knots. We don't know what that was supposed to be for. People travelled far and wide to visit this place. She saw a woman clinging to the shrine, her arms all over it. My mum tapped her shoulder and told her..."Ask Allah, face this way and ask Allah for help" she pointed towards the Qibla.
The woman, with a distressed look on her face replied pointing towards the grave: "I have no one except him. Only he can help me!"

Subhan Allah. How sad that that woman has not been able to taste the sweetness of calling on Allah alone...Is that Islam? Is that the True Religion? Is that what the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) taught us and came for? Far, far away is that which so many people are doing in the name of Islam, to the way of the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam.

This dargah is one of thousands around the world and what happens at these so called 'Muslim shrines' is diametrically opposite to what Islam is.

The Prophet sallallahu alahi wa sallam taught us to destroy domes and structures over graves and level them...So many Muslims are doing the opposite.

The Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam taught us not to go to extremes about him after his death in terms of his status. Muslims are doing that about him and other pious men.

The Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam told us not to make a religious journey except to 3 places: The Masjidul Haraam, the Prophet's Masjid and Masjidul Aqsa. Yet people are travelling across the earth to visit the grave of a specific sheikh they have heard of in the hope that their needs will be met.

The Sahabah never called on the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam for help after his death. Yet people are doing just that, calling on people in graves, who cannot help themselves any more, for help!

Allah tells us in the Qur'an that He will not forgive anyone associating partners with Him, or calling on other than Him for help in something only He can help with. Yet people are breaking that very tenet of Islam.

So how can our Ummah expect to be pulled out of its sunken state, when the First Pillar of Islam is being broken by millions on a daily basis.

You get the picture. That is why we are studying the short treatise: The Four Principle of Shirk on Sunday, so that we can understand it, call to the truth, and lift people out of the darkness they are in and show them what Islam really is. I hope you can join us:

HALAQAH NETWORK 2010 TARBIYYAH PROGRAMME

Al-Qawaid Al-Arba'aah-

The 4 fundamental principles

by the great reformer,

Shaykh Muhammad ibn Abdul-Wahhab

Sunday 6th June 2010, 10am-5pm

Micro Community Hall

46-50 Greatorex Street

Whitechapel, London E1 5NP

Delivered by Sr Fatimah Barakatullah

This is an unique opportunity to study this famous Islamic primer. We will be using the arabic text and English translation of the text as well as delving into the biography of this great scholar of Islam.

Contact: 07977010382

Email:info@shajarahtayyibah.com

Young. British. Female. Muslim. -Times Online

2010-05-31T01:41:00.000+01:00

Young. British. Female. Muslim. -Times Online

FREE to visitors of this blog: Join me for a webinar on 29th May 2010!

2010-05-28T21:46:00.001+01:00

For sisters who visit this blog, click on this link to join the webinar for free at 10pm London time tomorrow: Saturday 29th May 2010...

https://www1.gotomeeting.com/register/113039728

Calling all women who are juggling the various roles and responsibilities Allah has given us! A unique online sisters event...on Saturday 29th May

http://themanyhijabsofamuslimah.com/#

Join me Fatima Barkatulla at 10pm on Saturday 29th May 2010 for a webinar "Motherhood and your other roles - getting the balance right." At 10pm on Saturday...book now at the link above and if you miss it you can listen again. There will be 2 other webinars too by lifecoach: Brother Ramiz Ibrahim and Sister Farzana Khundmir (The Muslim Coach).

Qawa'id Araba'ah

2010-05-27T11:23:00.002+01:00

"I don't respect the Crocodile Tears..."

2010-03-17T23:31:00.002Z

Dr. Norman Finkelstein says it like it is: "I consider nothing more dispicable than to use their (his Jewish family in the Holocaust) suffering and martyrdom to justify the torture, the brutalisation, the demolition of homes that Israel daily commits against the Palestinians!"

Watch and weep: The Chidren of Gaza...our children

2010-03-16T10:03:00.002Z

Dispatches, the Children of Gaza

Call of Duty West London

2010-02-23T01:52:00.001Z

Stay focused

2010-02-23T00:07:00.010Z

For the Student of Knowledge

Cast down your eyes
And banish fears
The time will come
And you will see

That storm that brews
Inside of you
Will find release
Will be set free

Till then look not
To far off lands
Nor mountains high
Nor clouds above

And fix your gaze
To pastures near
His pleasure seek
And Knowledge love

Your spirit tame
And mind restrained
Shall be released
The time draws near

Till then my friend
Reign back the steed
And cast your gaze
Firmly down.

By F Barkatulla

1001 Inventions - Muslim exhibition at the Science Museum!

2010-02-04T13:12:00.002Z

http://www.1001inventions.com/

definitely worth having a look...

Niqab discussion on BBC Asian Network

2010-02-02T21:47:00.003Z

Debate/discussion between Saleem Chagtai and Taj Hargey (who claims that niqab has nothing to do with Islam)

Listen again here....the first half of the show is about homosexuality in bollywood movies...so skip to the latter half of the show...(1 hour 15 minutes into the show) will be available for a few days...what was good was that a niqabi sister phoned in Alhamdulillah.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/console/b00qjqj3

BIRD IN A CAGE: MYTH OR REALITY? ... -[WOMEN ONLY EVENT]

2010-01-31T22:46:00.003Z

Come to Queen Marys ISOC Islam Awareness Week events and bring along anyone you know who wants to know more about Islam. It's this week. Insha Allah I will be taking part in the following event:

BIRD IN A CAGE: MYTH OR REALITY? ... -[WOMEN ONLY EVENT]

WEDNESDAY 3rd February
5:00pm - 7:00pm
Francis Bancroft, CMLT

www.queenmaryisoc.co.uk

Contact:
brother@queenmaryisoc.co.uk

sister@queenmaryisoc.co.uk

Europe and banning niqab and symbols of religion

2010-01-27T22:55:00.002Z

Assalamu Alaikum

Alhamdulillah I had the chance to talk about it at the BBC's studio yesterday as part of a BBC World service programme. They gave me the chance to comment and try to analyse what was happening in Europe.

Whenever I met any female producers etc, and there was no one about, I lifted my niqab to chat to them.
It was live...and I sat with the presenter (lifted my niqab as there was only a female in the studio,) we listened to a debate between a Muslim French sister based in Cairo and a French Minister. The debate was going well, the sister was doing us proud except that suddenly, at the end of the interview it was clear that she was not actually a supporter of niqab, but was using their narrative: liberalism etc. to argue that it should be allowed. Right at the end of the debate she said: "By the way, the niqab has nothing to do with Islam, it was a cultural practise from the deserts of Arabia" (!!) And then the French Minister who obviously loved that replied: "Well, customs from the deserts of Arabia are not necessarily welcome in our country"! I was sitting feeling quite alarmed but knew I had to rectify that mistake that the sister made...

The presenter could see from me that the niqab wasn't stopping me from doing things that I wanted to do, so that was positive alhamdulillah.

When the presenter came to me, I made it clear that...it is wrong to say that it is a cultural practise from the deserts of Arabia! Covering the face is an orthodox interpretation of some Qur'anic verses and is a part of Islam.

Here are some important points that can be made when discussing the niqab ban some of which I got the chance to make during the interview:

-France has so many other pressing issues to deal with than something that is only done by 2000 or so law abiding women. It is bullying a minority within a minority within a minority.

-What do you hope to achieve through the ban?
What is your evidence that women are being forced to cover their faces? If you are doing it because you feel that the women are oppressed, then will this solve the oppression? No, it will ghettoise them even more...if women are facing any sort of oppression, they need to be given access to means of escaping that, not criminalised...

-Banning things don't win over the hearts and minds of the people...the women are doing this out of a conviction and so they will not let go of the niqab, perhaps more women will start to wear it. What will you ban next...where will it end?

-What happened when the hijab was banned in schools in France in 2004? Most Muslims didn't throw off their hijabs...they just set up more independent Muslim schools instead...so the idea that it will help integration is a fallacy too.

-There is this myth that the niqab has come to France as a result of migrants coming to France and wearing it...It is estimated that a quarter of the women who wear the niqab in France are actually converts. Women are choosing to cover. (The minister was constantly referring to niqab wearing women as 'they' and talking as if they were foreigners, not French!)

-This is the rise of Secular Fundamentalism. The whole overreaction to niqab has coloniolist undertones: "We the civilised Europeans, must show you, the poor savages and heathens that you are, how to live a better life, because our way of life is superior to yours." (Imagine if Malcolm X were alive what he'd say!) It is extremely patronising.

-I remember at one point the presenter was asking: But you do understand that it makes people feel uncomfortable doesn't it...my husband said I should have said: "Yeah...50 years ago black and brown faces in Europe made people feel uncomfortable...."
I said something like...yes, people feel uncomfortable about things they don't understand, but we can make people feel at ease by educating them etc.

-The nature of Islam is that it is a complete way of life and it does manifest itself visibly...so it can't be made invisible....it will manifest itself in some other way.

-Europe is going through an identity crisis and is overreacting to the visible presence of Muslims. It is creating a sense of insecurity and the media do whip up histeria around this topic, exaggerating it: for example the Nationalist party in Switzerland with their billboards with a menacing looking niqabi in the foreground and swiss flags with missiles that are minarets in the background: clear racism and prejudice.

Banning the burqa is simply not British | Dominic Lawson - Times Online

2010-01-24T22:22:00.000Z

Banning the burqa is simply not British Dominic Lawson - Times Online

Urdu Resources for kids

2010-01-24T03:08:00.006Z

Insha Allah I will post more Urdu resources as I find them...sometimes I post things on my blog so that my kids can find them easily...

Here is the Urdu alphabet

http://www.urduathome.com/

When the going gets tough, be patient and call on Allah

2010-01-23T21:47:00.004Z

The Messenger of Allah (sallallaahu alaihi wasallam) said in a beautiful hadeeth:

"Indeed amazing are the affairs of a believer ! They are all for his benefit; If he is granted ease of living he is thankful; and this is best for him. And if he is afflicted with a hardship, he patiently perseveres; and this is best or him."

[ Muslim ]

But in order to make this a reality we have to be able to have the foresight to see beyond this life, to the next life. When we feel tested, we often feel our Iman weaken. At times we can fall into a state of sadness and stop striving and slacken in our actions – our good deeds. But it is those very good deeds: that extra salah, that extra dhikr of Allah, the extra sadaqah that will cause us to get out of the pit we have found ourselves in. Doing fewer good deeds will deepen our anguish even more. The Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam himself, when something happened to him he would pray. The prayer was the coolness of his eyes.

In discussing patience the scholars mention that there are two types of patience:

Patience in restraining oneself from committing sins.
Patience in continuing to be obedient to Allah and making sacrifices.

Ibn Kathir Rahimahullah mentions a third type of patience. It is the endurance of disasters and crises and includes seeking Allah's forgiveness from mistakes.

One of the things that living away from your family at a young age does, is that because you feel very lonely at times, it forces you to engage with Allah and realise that, just like that person who's holding onto a plank of wood in the sea, about to drown, it makes you realise that when you are emotionally drowning, the only one who can help us is Allah. When I felt that sense of distress coming over me, I found the following du'a very helpful. If you are feeling a sense of anguish, make this du'a. You can make it in your sajdah, or in the last third of the night:

Abd-Allah ibn Mas'ood said: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

"There is no-one who is afflicted by distress and grief, and says:

اللهم : اني عبدك, وابن عبدك, ابن أمتك, ناصيتي بيدك, ماضى فيّ حكمك, عدل فيّ قضاؤك, أسألك بكل اسم هم لك سمّت به نفسك, أو أنزلته في كتابك أو علّمته أحدا من خلقك, أن تجعل القرآن ربيع قلبي, ونور صدري, وجلاء حزني, وذهاب همّي وغمّي

...but Allaah will take away his distress and grief, and replace it with joy."

He was asked: "O Messenger of Allaah, should we learn this?" He said: "Of course; everyone who hears it should learn it."

"O Allaah, I am Your servant, son of Your servant, son of Your maidservant,": Here we are showing our complete subservience to Allah, even our parents are His servants.

"my forelock is in Your hand, Your command over me is forever executed and Your decree over me is just."
:Here we are acknowledging that Allah has complete control over us in things that we have no control over.

"I ask You by every name belonging to You which You name Yourself with, or revealed in Your Book, or You taught to any of Your creation, or You have preserved in the knowledge of the unseen with You,": Here we are seeking a means of nearness to Allah by calling upon Him by His names and attributes – by every name He has, that we know of or that we don't know of. Included in that will be Allah's greatest name, which if we call Him by it, He will surely answer our du'a.

"that You make the Qur'aan the spring rain that brings my heart to life and the light of my breast, and a departure for my sorrow and a release for my anxiety.'

We ask Allah to bring our hearts back to life, and expand our breast, just as plants need rain and light, we ask Allah for that nourishment like rain and light from the Qur'an, that will make the difficulties we feel we are facing, seem easy. We beg Allah to make the Qur'an that we recite, a means for our 'Huzn' (our anxiety about the past) and 'Hamm' (our anxiety about the future) to dissipate.

Aameen thumma Aameen

Principles of Sunnah and Sciences of Hadith course with creche

2010-01-18T01:00:00.002Z

Please tell others about this two day course in London...and if you come...see you there insha Allah.

SEMINAR for Brothers & Sisters - 20 & 21 February 2010

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=idPf1TZP94c

Principles of Sunnah and Sciences of Hadith

Ever wondered how one incident was relayed in many different ways? How do we act upon a hadeeth when some scholars say it is weak and others claim it is authentic? Find out the principles the scholars used in understanding the hadith and sunnah of the Messenger of Allah (Sallahu alaihi wasalam).

Lecturers: Shaikh Haitham Al-Haddad, Shaikh Ahmad Barouni, Shaikh Fraz Farhat and Shaikh Abu Rumaysah

Topics: Introduction to Science of Hadith and the Sunnah, Hadith Terminology, Scholars of Hadith, Principles related to the Sunnah...

www.iprogress.org.uk

REGISTER NOW!!!!

Hifdh 2

2010-01-16T18:44:00.004Z

This nasheed makes me cry so much!

(I wish we had hifdh classes like those here...)

Mother...

2010-01-11T03:30:00.001Z

How can you deny the Oneness of Allah...

2010-01-11T03:13:00.001Z

Hifdh Journey Part 1

2009-12-29T04:40:00.006Z

I thought I should, for the benefit of those parents out there whose yearning I totally understand, chronicle some aspects of our journey on my son's path to memorising Qur'an.

First and foremost, what I have experienced so far is that parents who are serious about setting their child or children upon this path, need the following characteristics. If they don't have them now, they will definitely gain them or need to gain them over the 'Hifdh years' if they really want to get to where they need to be insha Allah.

1. Sincerity. You can't get through it without sincerity.
2. Immovable motivation: why are you doing it? Read all you can about the Qur'an, the reward for the Hafidh and for their parents.
3. Desire the good of the aakhirah for your child more than you desire the good of this dunya. (You may have to put hifdh above all other study considerations and you can definitely wave goodbye to virtually all of those after-school clubs, even homework may need to be but on the back burner or its completion delayed). However in reality it will be for the good of this world and the next for your child insha Allah.
4. Both parents must be in on it. You will probably talk about it every day, make decisions around it, you may need to take turns being your childs revision buddy. You will probably at some point argue and even row about it...but you need to keep each other motivated.
5. Increase your own attachment to the Qur'an. I say, we need to be memorising along with our children if we haven't already done so. Maybe not at the same speed as them but in order to be able to empathise, in order to be truly someone who loves the Qur'an, we need to be examples to our kids. When they see that we are memorising, it will motivate them too. Very soon, they will be able to test us on our hifdh! Imagine the self-esteem boost they'll get from that! ("I know more than you Amma" my son incessantly reminds me. "Yes" I say, "you are my Sheikh!")
6. Tenacity...for when the going gets tough. There may be times when it seems you cannot go on. Get through those times...see past the obstacles...show Allah that you will keep on this path...it is a test of your sincerity and commitment.
7. Be able to motivate your child. There may be times when your child cannot do something or go somewhere because of the Hifdh. You need to be your childs motivater...to help them see it to the end, not to make it a negative experience, but to make it as inspiring and positive as possible...rewards, special privileges are all necessary and well-deserved! Being able to talk about what they are memorising...the meaning of it, also really helps keep the child's interest.
8. Willingness to sacrifice your own time, energy, money...I truly believe that Allah will insha Allah provide the financial 'scholarship' if we are prepared to show Him that we are utterly dedicated to this. You might need to let go of other things in order for the hifdh to be completed successfully. It is a lifestyle shake-up, a new lifestyle.
9. A disciplined home-life: There need to be times established for hifdh...bedtime needs to be set and the house needs to be organised and running like a well-oiled machine. (I haven't mastered that one yet - believe me, but things are getting better).

And Allah knows best...

Insha Allah will post more in part 2.

My First Time as a Guest of God

2009-12-27T23:10:00.004Z

Forgot to post this up...from the Times newspaper and Times Online

My first time as a guest of God

Ever since reading, at the age of 13, Malcolm X's account of haj, I've wanted to go says Fatima Barkatulla

All the world's a stage

2009-12-24T03:40:00.009Z

Assalamu Alaikum

I realise I haven't blogged for some time now. And I also realised recently that I hadn't mentioned what happened to my mum-in-law on the blog, when I bumped into a teacher at my son's school who reads this blog and she asked after my mum-in-law. Strangely I'd assumed that she had heard the news.

Well my mum-in-law passed away a few weeks after Eid ul Fitr.

I am typing this with my laptop on my mum-in-law's kitchen table. I'm writing notes as I study, using my father-in-law's fountain pen, wearing the ring that my father-in-law made with his own hands for me. But I am at home. Yesterday we finished the painstaking and exhausting job of clearing out my mum-in-laws house for her landlords. The experience has left me feeling kind of melancholy. Yes it is Iman increasing in many ways but it is also overwhelming at times. Maybe it seems strange I should be so affected since they were not my parents but my in-laws. I guess they were an essential and valued part of my world for a third of my life, during a crucial time of life. And their personalities were such that they embraced me as a daughter (as they had none) and really spoilt me. I loved them. My father-in-law along with my husband, was my best friend for so long. I looked forward to my weekly visits to their house and still remember his anecdotes and laugh as I recall his expression as he would tell any one of them. Clearing out their house has been like getting to know them in an even closer way. Seeing every stage of their lives in front of us in the countless photographs....some of my husband's grandfather and great grandparents even. The Chagtais had access to cameras in the 30s, at a time when my parents in working class India in the 50s didn't. They were so diligent in recording the photo-history of their family members. So many black-and-white photos. Most of those in the photos, looking so young and elegant, have now passed on or are elderly and frail. I've got my father-in-laws notebooks from University and his father's degree certificate from Manchester University...a photo of my mum-in-law as a teenager...and on her wedding day. It's all kind of surreal. What full lives they led! How enduring the love they left behind. I still have kebabs in the freezer that my mum-in-law made with her own hands. A parcel that she had ordered, arrived a few days after she passed away...it missed her. But it was meant to. It was written as someone elses rizq.

Anyhow. Maybe I will share some of the thoughts and reflections experienced during this time later.

Suffice it to say that life is extremely short. Each stage of life, gone in the blinking of an eye. Repentance is essential and needs to be immediate. We are only given our youth for a short while. Then it goes out of reach. I contrast in my mind the black and white images I've seen of my father-in-law as a handsome, trim, rugged, young man, rifle in hand, coming back with his mates from one of his hunting escapades. He looks like an Indian movie star...and then as I knew him, with his snowy white beard and huge smile and even bigger bear hugs, holding his grandchild in arms. And I remember how right at the end of his life, such an active person as he was, he was unable to walk and lost his appetite completely. Reminds me of the stages of man's life in Shakespeare's 'As you Like it':

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first, the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms.
Then the whining schoolboy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress' eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the canon's mouth. And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lined,
With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slippered pantaloon
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side;
His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank, and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.

Typing teacher for kids

2009-12-24T03:39:00.001Z

http://www.bbc.co.uk/schools/typing/levels/level1.shtml

2009-11-24T03:38:00.002Z

Mission: Da'wah
'Call of Duty'
SISTERS ONLY Da'wah Training Course

Sunday 6th December 2009, 9am to 7:30pm
The Royal Hotel, 1 Mill Street, Luton, Bedfordshire, LU1 2NA

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• A one day interactive course teaching you how to talk to non Muslims about Islam, convincingly and in a structured way.
• Learn what to do with all those uncomfortable questions that people always ask.
• Build your confidence to be a true da'wah carrier in your community.

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www.missiondawah.com/training.html

Reflections on the transient nature of life

2009-10-15T01:50:00.003+01:00

My mother-in-law has been in hospital for over a month now. She went in during Ramadan when she was suffering from angina pain. Then while in hospital she had heart failure (cardiac arrest) and was resuscitated and alhamdulillah after a week or so in the Intensive Therapy Unit during which she was sedated, her organs: lungs, kidneys, heart slowly began to get stronger again...and she moved to the high dependency unit. There her heart stopped once more, but she survived. She is now slowly getting her strength back but is very tired. May Allah grant her a speedy and complete recovery.

We had gotten to the point where we thought 'this was it'. And truly, when you see death so close to you, almost in front of you, it is utterly sobering, to say the least: the impact of one person in your life not being around is huge. And yet, this ever-turning cycle of life and death and life and death and life will go on. It is unstoppable. I am just another life in this world that will end in death. So are you. We reach our peak and then decline in physical strength slowly but surely and then it is our children's turn to reach their peak and then they too must slowly face up to their own mortality. And on and on it goes.

It makes you want to hug your husband, kids, parents and loved ones tighter to think that we are just lives slipping away as surely as the seconds and minutes do. It makes you want to spend that life smiling more, striving more. It makes you want to give more and be more. That is one of the things I would miss most about my mum-in-law: her smiling and her giving, her reassuring presence. When I go and visit her in the hospital, thoughts and memories flash in my mind...how proud she was of me, the bahu, when I got married to her son...she would phone me and ask what I'd be wearing to the next dinner-party we were invited to. She'd buy me expensive make up and gifts and have clothes made for me, without me asking for it or expecting it. She'd show me how to wear a particular garment and would be pleased to see me dressed up. I think of all the love she has showered upon my children. Irreplaceable. Anyone seeing her in hospital who didn't know her, would feel pity. They wouldn't know how elegant and glamorous she once was. They wouldn't know about all the laughter and happiness of her home, the warm aroma of her cooking, the trips to the park and wedding parties she'd attended, the intricately embroidered silk clothing she'd worn...I guess all of it fades into insignificance, when we are facing the end.

How small it makes me feel. Just another life. Just another child of Adam, coming and going back as they always have done. Nothing to stop it. Decreed.

Maybe I shouldn't feel this, but the transient nature of life does send a shiver down my spine.
One day I'll get a phone call telling me that one of my friends has passed away, someone of my generation. How scary that will seem: that our friends or even siblings are one by one leaving. Gone - and we might only be able to count how many of our contemporaries are left on Earth on our fingers.

Whenever someone passes away, it is the end of an era in someone else's life. It is time to start again in some way. How easily 'expendable' human life is. My mum-in-law: such an important part of our lives yet only we will understand that. Her great grandchildren probably won't. The importance of that human life is most felt at the time in which it exists (for most people). What about after that? Are we just forgotten?

The thought of not leaving a legacy of some sort is probably a more scary 'death' than death. I look at my children and feel reassured: a part of us lives on in them and their children until the end of time insha Allah. A part of us lives on in those far-reaching things of on-going benefit that we may have done or left behind.

I kind of want to live on. Not in flesh, but in impact.

I'm sure you do too.

Diary Part 2

2009-10-11T22:43:00.008+01:00

From Sisters Magazine

The Ummah in Dire Straits
By Umm Yusuf

Imam ash-Shafi’ee said about travelling to seek knowledge:

“The intelligent and refined find no rest in dwelling in one place,
So leave your homeland and travel far away!
Travel and you will meet new people replacing those left behind,
And tire yourself out, because it makes life worth living!
I have seen that water stagnates when it stands still,
Yet when it runs it is sweet and pure.
And if the lion left not its land, it would not catch its prey
And if the arrow left not the bow, it would not hit its aim
And if the sun moved not across the horizon,
People the world over would have tired of the sky.”

The dusty streets, oppressive heat and sprawling populace were not the only things I had to adjust to when I arrived in Cairo. Growing up in a non-Muslim society, I had always believed, rather romantically, that the Muslim Ummah today was a force to be reckoned with; a shining beacon of light for all, the very embodiment of Revelation. Cairo was my chance to immerse myself amongst my fellow Muslims and absorb some of its luminosity for myself. What I was to discover in my first months in Egypt, shook my world.

The first incident happened whilst my father and I stayed with a friend of his who was a professor at a small-town University north of Cairo. He was a wealthy and generous man who knew my father from his visits to London. His pretty daughter was an intelligent engineer who was recently married but was not yet living with her husband. We got on famously, as she spoke English fluently and tried her best to introduce me to life in Egypt.

One day she wanted to show me her wedding video. What took me aback was that in the video, there she was: smiling, dressed in her white wedding dress surrounded by dancing men and women. The men around her could not all have been related to her. I asked her how it was that she would not observe hijab in front of those men. She looked down and said “Yes, it is wrong. But that is the norm here.” I asked her if her fiancé had objected. I couldn’t imagine a Muslim man wanting his wife paraded in public in that way. Surely his sense of jealousy and high regard for his wife would prevent him from allowing that. “My fiancé is the one who wanted me to dress like that. You know, he wants his friends to know that he has a beautiful wife. It is what he wanted.”

I very soon realised that we came from two totally different paradigms. Hijab for me was something sacred. I had grown up being the odd one out, the only girl in the school who observed hijab, until my sister joined me and became the only other. Throughout our childhoods, we had experienced the struggle, the stares, the pointing, the questions and sometimes the name-calling and jibes that came with observing hijab in the 80s and 90s in the UK. The idea of removing it so thoughtlessly, in a Muslim country where you could observe hijab easily, where it should be a part of your life, was incredible to me.

My father applied for me to live in the girls’ hostel: Bait-ut Talibaat al-Muslimaat in a congested part of Cairo called ‘Abbasiyyah, but my admission there hadn’t been approved yet, so before leaving, he entrusted me to his professor friend’s family who lived in a narrow, poverty-stricken road in North West Cairo. The cheerful demeanour of even the poorest Egyptian family was uplifting, and I bore the difficulty of living there, knowing that my stay was only temporary.

My neighbour, Hussein was a tall, olive skinned Egyptian guy who also happened to be a tour-guide. He would try to give me pointers as to how to get to where I needed to in Cairo. Hussein seemed to encapsulate all that was not quite right about Egypt. He was a fit and healthy unmarried man who was probably in his 30s. He wore Western designer clothing, spent his evenings smoking shisha, socialising with his friends in cafes, going to the cinema, listening to Bryan Adams songs and fraternising with European tourists. He didn’t pray except perhaps on Friday and he didn’t really care. It seemed a waste. His faith was in his heart, as he saw it.

That the Ummah was in dire straits was becoming apparent to me on a daily basis. For although the striking minarets filled the Cairene skyline and the heart stirring calls to prayer echoed in crescendo five times every day, the men sitting in the market places and coffee houses which seemed to be on every street, would not budge. Prayer time came in – and went, and all the while, young and old, continued to smoke and converse, unmoved. The second pillar of Islam was being totally ignored. I was confused. On top of that, I had been reading a book by an American journalist about the hidden face of Saudi Arabia which was a depressing portrayal of a country which I had always held in high regard. Was this the real face of the Ummah? Why would Allah grant success to a people who did not fulfil the most basic of His commands? And in the months that followed and certainly by the end of my second year in Egypt, I had concluded that all that was wrong with the Muslim World was not the doing of puppet regimes and colonialists. Until the Muslim world changed its own state of being: its own condition of disobedience to Allah, Allah would not grant us an Islamic State.

An Inspiring Poem for you and your kids

2009-10-11T14:33:00.001+01:00

IF.....

IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

By Rudyard Kipling

Heart Age Calculator

2009-10-08T01:29:00.001+01:00

I dare you try it!

Flora Heart Health Calculator

Avoiding Spiritual and Physical HEART ATTACKS

2009-10-03T22:41:00.003+01:00

I was thinking about this the other day...
when you are a student of knowledge who has knowledge but doesn't practise his/her 'ilm...how terrible then, when you develop diseases of the heart like pride, arrogance, love of shuhra (fame), or if you indulge in sins: backbiting, not praying on time, being lazy about obligatory acts....then you only have yourself to blame when you realise your Iman is low and you have the characteristics of a Munafiq(hypocrite)...you haven't been doing your nawafil acts so even your fard acts become hard! You start feeling lazy about even the fard and they start to suffer...you have caused your own ruin. You are having a spiritual heart attack. Getting back to a healthy heart will be hard after all that gradual damage...

That is with regards to the spiritual heart.

Now think about your physical heart. I've been chatting with doctors over the last few weeks...and one of them said something that really struck me. She said that after about the age of 25, your arteries start slowly furring up...you may not notice or realise how much damage is being done to your arteries...the furring up...the fatty deposits...until they are about 70% blocked when there will be a point at which your health will be impacted. You could have a heart attack and your life will never really be the same again. This has happened to people in their 40s and younger...it doesn't just happen to the elderly.

Now reflect on this:
Just like that person who has knowledge but didn't act upon it and caused his Iman to plummet....we are educated and we know that over-eating or eating the wrong types of foods (saturated fats...sugar...processed carbs etc) causes damage to our health....we know that keeping our weight to a healthy level is an important part of keeping healthy in general and is a part of our deen.

We know that our bodies were not made to be sedentary...they are designed for movement...muscles - if you don't use them you lose them, your heart - cardiovascular exercise strengthens it...we need activity and exercise....so in other words...we have the knowledge of how we should be keeping our physical heart healthy...just as the student of knowledge has knowledge of how to keep his Iman high....
but...
if we don't practise it...I mean if we don't exercise...if we eat junk...we can't say no to the biryani and parathas and kheer or profiteroles...waste our money on excessive eating...etc...we will cause our own ruin and affect our physical hearts....and have a physical heart attack. Again...getting back to a healthy heart will be hard after all the gradual damage...

In other words....we need to practise our knowledge...act upon it...knowledge of deen -how to keep our spiritual hearts healthy as well as knowledge of dunya- how to keep our physical hearts healthy...

Presents for Eid?

2009-09-03T23:51:00.011+01:00

I'll add some more present ideas in the next few days insha Allah.

I just love these kitchen products...maybe I'll get the salad bowl for my mum..

http://www.josephjoseph.com/shop

This looks good for the kids:

Baba Ali's Kalimaat Game

Here's the website for it with more info:
Baba Ali Games

Learning Roots

Here's another idea for the kids:
Charades for Kids

Books for husbands:
Screw it Let's Do it

Your husband will like this one:
Rich Dad Poor Dad

Not too late...

2009-09-01T17:12:00.001+01:00

Please see this Ramadan post with a great Ramadan Checklist...not too late to reap the rewards of Ramadan

http://muslimmotherhood.blogspot.com/2008/09/ive-got-to-give-you-this-link-and-youve.html

Online Resources for my middle son (5 years old)

2009-08-27T03:43:00.001+01:00

will add to this later

http://downloads.bbc.co.uk/schools/ks1bitesize/worksheets/worksheet03.pdf

http://downloads.bbc.co.uk/schools/ks1bitesize/worksheets/worksheet01.pdf

http://downloads.bbc.co.uk/schools/ks1bitesize/worksheets/worksheet02.pdf

Resources for my eldest (nearly 8 years old)

2009-08-27T03:15:00.004+01:00

Online Ramadan Wordsearch
http://www.islamicplayground.com/scripts/prodList.asp?idCategory=26

After reading the Usborne book: Dickens' Oliver Twist

Children in Victorian England
http://www.bbc.co.uk/schools/victorians/index.shtml

http://www.bbc.co.uk/history/walk/flash/victor.html

http://www.woodlands-junior.kent.sch.uk/Homework/victorians.html

After reading Roald Dahl Books Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and others:
http://www.buckscc.gov.uk/bcc/museum/dahl_gallery/dahl_childrens_gallery.page?

http://www.roalddahlmuseum.org/whatson/september.aspx

Arabic online resources for my youngest son

2009-08-27T02:25:00.008+01:00

http://www.arabicfirst.co.uk/index.htm

Arabic Alphabet drag and match game
http://www.islamicplayground.com/scripts/prodView.asp?idproduct=46

Arabic alphabet game
http://www.islamicplayground.com/Scripts/prodView.asp?idproduct=55

Cool games/lessons for learning:
http://www.arabic4fun.com/lessons.html

Cartoon Stories to do with Ramadan

http://www.harfkids.com/fun_Story.aspx

This one has a bit of music at the beginning, but then is fine:

Arabic alphabet song (popular in Saudi):
http://saaid.net/flash/hrof_hejaa.htm

Sports for kids links (North West London) and days out

2009-08-26T23:49:00.004+01:00

Riding
http://www.londonridingschool.com/index.html

Judo
http://barnetjudo.co.uk/

Boxing (over 10s)
http://www.finchleyboxing.co.uk/home%20NEW.html

Golf
http://www.northwickpark.com/adventure_golf.php

Swimming
http://www.swimmingnature.com/sn-public/index.html

http://www.gll.org/centre/barnet-copthall-leisure-centre.asp

Days Out in London
http://www.sealife.co.uk/london

http://www.theoriginaltour.com/

http://www.londoneye.com/TicketsAndPrices/Flights/Default.aspx

Living Ramadan

2009-08-21T23:31:00.002+01:00

Times article:

Living Ramadan: a 30-day spiritual detox

2 useful websites!

2009-08-19T23:45:00.004+01:00

Here are two websites I'm finding really useful for the kids.

This one is great for printing off interesting sheets for the kids to colour. I love the maps. I got my son to make a UK map puzzle and then colour in a map of the UK from this website and label it. Also found wordsearches for Roald Dahl books.

http://www.activityvillage.co.uk/

This is so useful for Qur'an revision, you can view the mus-haf and choose a qari and set it so that it leaves a gap for your child to repeat after the Qari or repeat each verse a certain number of times and the words that are being recited are highlighted as it recites! The mus-haf is just like the one you'll have at home!

Reciter.org

Is there a God? Talking to atheists.

2009-08-15T23:46:00.004+01:00

How to make da'wah to an atheist: SHEIKH BILAL PHILLIPS

Motherhood and Sacrifice

2009-08-14T00:08:00.002+01:00

Francis Phillips - a member of FTM
Full Time Mothers

I am always moved and often uplifted by other mothers’ tales concerning their journey towards the realization that they should be at home - if possible - while their children are young. Whether these mothers are religious or whether they are simply mothers of honesty, generosity and goodwill, they all recognise that their children's needs must come before their own. They instinctively realise that having children involves sacrifice.

'Sacrifice' is not a common word today. Some feminists might regard it negatively: becoming a 'doormat', forgetting self-fulfilment, sounding - heaven help us! - right wing and old-fashioned. But the word has a more ancient and powerful meaning than this. It has twocomponents: death and rebirth - the belief that a death, whether actual orsymbolic, will bring about change and new life.What has this to do with mothers? Everything. If mothers are truly to embrace their vocation - and motherhood is a vocation, however unthinkingly we may stumble into it - they have to make sacrifices. Sometimes we make these willingly, sometimes we are reluctant; but it is a law, either natural or supernatural depending on one's perspective, that new life - a baby - will involve the 'death' of the person the mother used to be. (This 'death' is very gradual and often imperceptible to the mother, I hasten to add.)

For those readers who might be reluctant to use the word 'sacrifice', evenif they understand it in practice, think of the sacrifices mothers make: we sacrifice our sleep, sometimes for years, depending on the size of the family, because children - especially teenagers - have a way of coming alive at night, especially when we have sunk into an exhausted slumber.

We also sacrifice our ordered and tidy households, the ideal homes we cherish in our imaginations. However much we clear up and wipe off those sticky finger marks, there will always be a child waiting in the wings to topple the tower of bricks all over the floor again or a teenager leaving towels on the bathroom floor.

We (often) sacrifice our figures. The svelte contours of youth are slowly replaced by what another mother euphemistically described to me once as 'the fuller figure'. Not that we deliberately abet the female pear shape; just that bearing children tends to alter one's silhouette.
We sacrifice our clothes. What mother has not ruefully contemplated the permanent stain on her (left?) shoulder, where the baby has enthusiastically burped? When the baby is beyond burping, the stains of childhood and youth appear: mud, blood and gravy. Some mothers, me included, abandon all thoughts of ironing: a luxury we no longer have time for…

…and ironing reminds me that we sacrifice our time. This is often the hardest sacrifice. We can put up with broken nights and bleary days; a permanent cornflakes-mixed-with-Lego sensation on one's bare feet as one patters endlessly across the floor in search of tissues and toilet paper; fuller figures, rumpled clothes - but time! Can we never again have any time to ourselves?

Hardly; I exaggerate but - as mothers know - children instinctively eat away at our time: not quality time after work, when we have given our best hours to activities away from home, but quantity time i.e. the whole time, so that we are always 'present' to our children: not therefore at their beck and call, turning ourselves into the dreaded doormat again, but conscious of, and attentive to, their needs, their conversation, their squabbles, their sorrows.I used the word 'vocation' earlier. As I see it, the difference between a job and a vocation is that a job lasts from nine tofive, or eight to six or whatever, and then you go home. Motherhood is home; the two concepts cannot be separated; and it is '24/7' for you cannot switch on and switch off, as with a job. It is a state of life, like the religious life, which expresses and the deepest yearnings of the person.

The list of sacrifices we make is much longer than the above list and every mother could add to it. But I do not wish to be negative. Some speak negatively of motherhood - of all the things you can no longer do to nurture yourself because children have invaded your space. These inevitable and necessary sacrifices, which motherhood entails, are more than merely positive things. They are, if we truly embrace them, creative for us. The birth of a child means the 'death' of the person the mother used to be, and her 'rebirth'; her very gradual metamorphosis into someone less selfish, more generous, more loving, moretolerant - and definitely more patient - than she could ever have imagined in her flower-power (for some of us) younger, single days.

It is a paradox: how the death of the old self leads to new selfhood. Christian mothers know this, for the Gospels are full of divine, amazing paradoxes: 'Unless the grain of wheat dies' etc. But my theme addresses all mothers of goodwill: have the courage to understand that those demanding, enchanting years of raising children, in which you can honestly say you gave your all to help them become loving and responsible persons in their turn,will bring an immeasurable reward. So run the race to the finish - always remembering that there is no 'finish'; being a mother is a job for life - or perhaps a vocation?

Mr J

2009-08-13T02:15:00.004+01:00

I remember him as a tall, animated man with a manner (and features) not dissimilar to that of Jeremy Clarkson. He was my I.T. and then Business Studies teacher and was someone I could bounce ideas off when I was the supervisor for the computer room at my secondary school for girls. He was always willing to opine about any subject that was being discussed and I still remember to this day, some of his anecdotes. So today I was really surprised whilst walking around Waitrose, to see a slimmer, older version of him chatting away to some staff. I did a double take because someone had told me that he had passed away and I thought no...it can't be him. But then in the bread aisle, we met face to face and he said pointing at me: "It's...Fatima!"

"Mr. J." I replied.

"Well! Am I allowed to hug you Fatima?" He said half-jokingly.

"Er..no. Er how are you?" I asked, remembering the last time we met, which was at my little sister's Parent's Evening ten years ago! I was 18 and about to get married and he had looked at me with that puzzled look and asked, wasn't it a bit early for me to be getting married? Didn't I want my freedom a bit longer? And I hadn't shaken his hand on that occasion and I'm sure he'd commented on that. That's why I remembered it at that point.

"Fine. And you?"

"Well I have 3 sons."

"Wow! Three sons."

"Yes and I'm married"

"Well, obviously. You know I saw you on TV! And I thought, that must be Fatima, unless there's another Fatima Barkatulla. You always speak sensibly about things, even though I disagreed with you."

"Well, I'd much rather talk about other topics, but the BBC only phone me for things like the face-veil, so..."

"Well, when you're at my stage in life, you know, you realise that there are more important things to worry about in life, than what people are wearing...guess how old I am?" I shrugged. "70 years old! Would you believe it? How old are you now?"
"29...come and meet my sons." My sons were around the corner looking at Mr. Men books and Jobbo (as we used to call him!) followed me to meet them. He chatted with them pleasantly.

"I became a grandfather overnight you know! We went out yesterday...my children and grandchildren to watch Harry Potter. Did you hear about me? My illness?"

"Well I did hear something..."
"I was diagnosed with Leukaemia twice and have come through it. My wife died last year." He said. That confident, sharpness was no longer in his eyes I noticed. They had softened, as had his attitude to life and its controversies.

"Oh. I'm sorry."

"You know after you experience something like that...you've held your dead wife in your arms..." he began to break down and cry, and then gulped and gathered his composure. "Once you experience that, you realise there are many other important things in life to worry about. You know?"

"Yes."

"I still read that copy of the Qur'an you gave me. Do you remember you gave me a copy of the Qur'an? I've found it useful."

"My father-in-law died a while back and we were all very close to him. I think it's only when you experience death that close to you that you realise that life is more than just this. I mean that the body is just a shell holding the soul. We are more than just our bodies..."

"Well that's where we are going to differ, because, no, I just believe that this life is it. Once you're gone, you're gone."

"But when I saw my deceased father-in-law, it made me more convinced than ever, that he was gone somewhere else, our bodies are just containers..."

"Well, you know, one of my best friends is a Christian and he's been through a lot and still has faith. But me? I just think there is so much negativity and strife in the world caused by organised religions that I just can't be a follower really....I just think, you have to treat other people kindly, be thoughtful..."

"Hmmm, it's human beings that cause the strife." I said, not wanting to push it too much on this occasion. He took some contact details and asked after my husband and parents. "I used to value your inputs at school". I said and I meant it.

"Yes" he said, "I learnt from you too, became more aware of racial issues...a teacher never stops learning you know...though how I ended up teaching Business Studies I don't know!"

And as soon as we'd met, he was gone. "I think I've got another ten years in me!" He said as he left. I wondered if it would be another 10 years before we met again...how old he would look, I'd be almost 40. Strange, how time is ticking and we are just like numbers, slipping away, day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, second by second...and I felt sort of sad that he should think that this life was it. That after 10 years he would be no more, that his wife was no more and that there was no meaning to those 70+ years of life.

When I got home my husband and I agreed that we would meet up with him. I would feel terrible if we didn't at least try and convey the message to him.

Other things to do this Summer holiday

2009-08-12T23:12:00.007+01:00

Go to Aldenham Country Park:
With a 100 Aker Wood from Winnie the Pooh (complete with Eeyore's gloomy place and Owl's house...oh and the heffalump trap and North Pole from the A.A. Milne books!) and a farm and nature trail...the kids loved it!

Go to the Roald Dahl Museum

Attend a half day session at the London Equestrian Centre or book a half an hour lesson

And a Pick-Your-Own farm (with strawberries, beans, courgettes and more!): Parkside Farm Pick Your Own

iERA Tour Clip

2009-08-04T04:33:00.002+01:00

Alhamdulillah iERA was launched and the tour was inspiring...
So let us ask ourselves what are we going to do to get everyone on the Ark?

"Just a mother..."

2009-08-04T00:42:00.010+01:00

If I help a child to read at school, I'm called a Teacher
If I teach my child to read at home, I'm just a mother.
If I plan lessons for a class, I'm called a Curriculum Coordinator
If I educate my children at home, I'm just a mother.
If I sit and talk to children an hour each, a week, addressing their needs, I'm a Speech Therapist.
If I patiently engage and help my autistic child every minute of every day, I'm just a mother.
If I look after a patient in the hospital, I'm called a Nurse.
If I nurse my child when they're ill, awake all night: none able to replace my reassuring presence, I'm just a mother.
If I manage my boss's office, I'm called a Secretary
If I organise my children's lives and my home, a place for everything and everything in its place, I'm just a mother.
If I prepare a meal in a restaurant, I'm called a Chef.
If I cook nutritious meals daily, made with love, remembered forever, I'm just a mother.
If I work late worrying about a deal for clients, how to make them as much money as I can, I'm a Career Woman.
If I stay up worrying and planning my children's future, the future of our world, I'm just a mother.
If I went out with colleagues and peers for dinner, comparing notes on the industry, I'd be Networking.
If I went out picnicking with a local mother & toddler group, comparing notes on parenting, I'd just be a mother.
If I sing on a stage, I'm an Artist.
If I sing a lullaby every night, the only voice that they want, the only voice that will do, I'm just a mother.

By FB

Stop going against your nature!

2009-07-31T00:46:00.004+01:00

I heard a top divorce lawyer say on the radio today, that the main reason for the increased divorce rate is the pressures that women face trying to juggle work with family life...this causes breakdowns in marriage. I was really surprised to hear her say it because one of the Shuyookh once mentioned that to me too, that he feels that the majority of divorce/khula cases that come before him, are due to the strained relationship caused by women working and not being able to run a family properly under the strain...you have to ask yourself...is it worth it? What are you chasing after? Can it wait? Can you do things that really can fit comfortably with raising a family? Allah doesn't require it of you so if you are feeling the strain...consider living a simpler live...not a huge house, not lots of cars and holidays...but a content and peaceful life, one where you are at peace with your role and your children are the better for it.

_________________________

She was a mother of three and top lawyer who jumped off a bridge into the Thames. What does her death tell us about Britain today?

By Rosie BoycottLast updated at 7:43 AM on 30th July 2009

Pressure: Catherine Bailey was unable to cope
Hers has to be one of the most tragic stories that I've read in a very, very long time. A young mother - only 41 - with three children under five throws herself in the Thames, leaving behind no real explanation, just a bald text message saying: 'Richmond. I am so sorry. BK (big kiss). All my love to you and the girls. Hold them close.'
How did Catherine Bailey, a hugely successful City lawyer, find herself in such desperation that the only solution she could find was to take her own life?
The coroner's report, made public on Tuesday, states that post-natal depression played a big part in her final, ghastly decision.
But I suspect many other factors contributed to her awful and untimely death - factors that will be familiar to all-too-many professional women in Britain today.
Both Catherine and her husband Dr Neil Ashman, a kidney specialist, held down incredibly tough and demanding jobs while trying to raise their three little ones.
Her decision to end her life earlier this year by jumping off Richmond Bridge raises many ugly questions, the key one being the age-old problem of being a working mother trying to pursue a high-flying career while not sacrificing the need to look after and nurture a young family.
Catherine, I have no doubt, was a loving and caring mum. She was also ambitious to play her role in the world of work - and in that regard she had succeeded hugely. Not just a member of staff at the giant law firm S J Berwin, but a partner, a position many would fight to have, as no doubt she did, too.
A company such as S J Berwin takes no prisoners - jobs like Catherine's command high salaries and no one would have been interested in employing anyone (male or female) who needed regular chunks of time off to see to all the things that children need: the dentist, the dance class, the need to be ferried to friends' parties.
I dread to think of the levels of stress she must have felt herself under as the school holidays approached: corporate law firms like hers seldom countenance an employee who says she needs to stop work for four weeks to be with the children.
I, too, know a little of the pressures she must have faced on a daily basis. I once had a highly demanding job as a national newspaper editor - a job I often found incompatible with trying to be a mother to my daughter, Daisy.

More...
I am so sorry: Last text message of suicide lawyer struggling to juggle motherhood with City career

How much worse it must have been for Catherine Bailey, with three children under the age of five. Leaping out of bed in the early morning and scrambling around to find something decent to wear that didn't show traces of her baby's slurps and spits and gurgles. Getting the children up and feeding them breakfast, hurrying them to school or to the childminder's, racing to the office, trying to put on make-up on the Tube, praying she will not be late.
Dreading a phone call in the middle of the day that might inform her that one of the children was ill and could she please, please come home.
What do you do when your child is asking for you, while your boss is insisting that you get yourself into the next meeting, all the time desperately trying not to show one iota of the stress you are under beneath that polished veneer of professionalism.
It is an impossible situation. Why do it? For power and prestige? For inner fulfillment? Clearly, the latter was insufficient to prevent this lovely young woman cracking under the strain of it all and seeking her own final solution.

Widowed: Dr Neil Ashman was married to the lawyer for 10 years
I suspect that aspiration played a large part in the lifestyle she and her husband elected to lead. Catherine would have been earning a very handsome salary, as would her husband. And with that, no doubt they managed to move up the housing ladder, taking on ever increasing mortgages and commitments.
I am speculating here, but I wonder whether that desire to display to the outside world the visible signs of success played some part in the stressful life she led. Why else would you go explain? For in many ways I believe we are all responsible for Catherine's death.
We have created a world that is monstrous in its demands: to earn more, to buy more, to display our worth to the world through the stuff that we own and the high status we acquire in the workplace.
And in the process we have shunned the things that matter far more to our sense of happiness and well-being: the strength of friendships, the bonds of family and community, the tranquillity of less pressured lives.
I'm not sure whether it is ever possible to hold down a job like Catherine's and be the mother of three youngsters without feeling that - on all fronts - you are failing, and hearing a nagging voice of self-reproach in your head.
Not a good enough wife (when did we last go out to dinner together?); not a good mother (I'm never home in time to read a bedtime story or help with their homework); not a dependable colleague (I'm so sorry, but I have to leave - my child has just fallen off her bike).
Catherine, I suspect, lived her life on a treadmill like this, balanced on a knife edge between all the myriad demands that were being made of her.
But she was living the modern British dream - one to which our culture tells us we should all aspire.
My heart breaks to imagine what she must have been feeling like when she decided she couldn't go on. Let her tragic end be a lesson to us all.

The Niqab Fact v Fiction

2009-07-22T22:20:00.002+01:00

Assalamu Alaikum

Please see this article that I wrote for Times Online

The Niqab, Fact v Fiction
How much do you really know about the niqab? An insider guide to common misconceptions

Fatima Barkatulla

More non-Muslims turning to Sharia courts to resolve civil disputes - Times Online

2009-07-21T04:17:00.001+01:00

More non-Muslims turning to Sharia courts to resolve civil disputes - Times Online

Shared via AddThis

My holiday programme for my sons

2009-07-19T23:40:00.004+01:00

Yes I want the holiday to be fun etc. But the way I see it...school holidays are homeschool time! Time for me to develop them in certain things.

So here are some of the things I plan to do insha Allah:

Outdoors and active stuff:

Scooter riding in London's parks
The BEST scooters are the Micro scooters and they have just introduced a Maxi one for kids over 5 years old! They are well worth it because they are just so smooth running and easy for even a toddler to manouvre!

Ball games in a sports camp and in the park and garden.

Swimming lessons

Attending a Summer Camp insha Allah with activities for kids and outdoor camping.

Exploring London and Cambridge, museums, walks, general hanging around!

Wimpole Farm and hall.
This is a brilliant day out for the family...you have got to go!

Strawberry picking

Daily Study for this month:
These things I plan to do daily, probably after breakfast insha Allah.

Qur'an reading and hifdh for my 5 1/2 year old

Qur'an hifdh and revision for my 7 year old.

Non-Verbal reasoning and verbal reasoning papers for my 7 year old.

Numberwork and letter writing practise for my 5 1/2 year old.

Reading and talking about 1 book/ 1 chapter at least daily for both of them.

I got this Book Journal for my 7 year old and he's got to read a book and write about it every day or every few days for longer books. I've chosen more challenging or longer books than what he usually has, and he seems to be enjoying them so far.

Other activities

Qur'an lesson with teacher for my 7 year old.

Arabic club for the younger two.
Urdu session with my mum for my 7 year old while the other two are at Arabic club. (Insha Allah)

Teaching my eldest how to prepare/cook one food item/easy meal at least once a week.

Reading from a biography of the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam every night (one chapter every night from an Islamic book)...answering their questions and discussing things with them before they sleep.

Sewing. (I know they're boys but it'll develop their fine-motor skills and make them more dexterous not to mention make them pay attention to detail. (Also one day they may sew their own buttons onto their shirts when they fall off!!) I've prepared a sewing box for my eldest. Will tell you more once he gets into it insha Allah.

Visiting relatives and drawing a family tree.

Insha Allah that should keep us busy!

Feel Gorgeous...Pamper yourself

2009-07-19T00:19:00.005+01:00

Mmmmm...I've just bought the most wonderful bath products. They're very relaxing and soothing and make you feel gorgeous...

I think sometimes being a mum, you can stop looking after yourself...don't! If you feel good, you'll be in a better state of mind to give your kids and husband your 100%. So I believe in regular pampering sessions! When we feel attractive, we relate better to our husbands. Even if your husband tells you that you are beautiful, if you don't feel beautiful the romance ain't gonna go very far if you know what I mean. So make sure you feel beautiful!

Here are some ideas:

A steam facial: have one at a salon...it feels great. But if you want to have one at home, you need a container with very hot (just less than boiling) water, a towel over your head and a clay mud mask. Allow the steam to relax your face and open up pores, then dab it dry and apply the mud mask on your face and neck avoiding eye area until it is dry (not too dry or you'll have a red face afterwards!) Then using a small damp flannel remove the mud mask.

While the mud mask is on, give yourself a pedicure, trim toenails and smooth using emery board, then Soak your feet in warm water with a nice smelling bath product. The ones I bought were from Champneys. I found them in Sainsburys. After soaking for a while, give yourself a pedicure, using those cuticle sticks to push cuticles back. use a body scrub or footscrub to clean and exfoliate your feet, or use a pumice stone to rub off any hard skin (which should soften after 20 minutes of soaking). Then dry your feet and moisturise with a rich moisturiser.

There is nothing like a nice soak in the bath to relax you and sooth your body of any tiredness etc. and clear your mind. I love this bath soak. And you can do a pedicure as soon as you get out of the bath. When you're rinsing yourself at the end of your bath, use a nice body scrub to invigorate and moisturise your skin all over. You will feel amazing afterwards and the smell of the scrub will be in your skin which your husband will also appreciate.

A back massage. Subhan Allah. After having kids, you need a back massage! If I could, I'd pay for all mums to have a proper deep-tissue massage...

I wanted my husband to experience it and found a male sports masseur for him as a gift.
But once you have one yourself, you'll know how to give your husband a really nice, proper back massage, building it up slowly, using oils etc. I promise that you will feel like a new person after a massage!

Try some of the above tonight and feel gorgeous!

Throw away the TV

2009-07-17T23:00:00.002+01:00

This is a great poem by Roald Dahl my sister forwarded it to me.

"Mike Teavee"

(from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory)

"The most important thing we've learned,
So far as children are concerned,

Is never, NEVER, NEVER let
Them near your television set–

Or better still, just don't install
The idiotic thing at all.

In almost every house we've been,
We've watched them gaping at the screen.

They loll and slop and lounge about,
And stare until their eyes pop out.

(Last week in someone's place we saw
A dozen eyeballs on the floor.)

They sit and stare and stare and sit
Until they're hypnotised by it,

Until they're absolutely drunk
With all the shocking ghastly junk.

Oh yes, we know it keeps them still,
They don't climb out the window sill,

They never fight or kick or punch,
They leave you free to cook the lunch

And wash the dishes in the sink–
But did you ever stop to think,

To wonder just exactly what
This does to your beloved tot?

IT ROTS THE SENSES IN THE HEAD!
IT KILLS IMAGINATION DEAD!

IT CLOGS AND CLUTTERS UP THE MIND!
IT MAKES A CHILD SO DULL AND BLIND

HE CAN NO LONGER UNDERSTAND
A FANTASY, A FAIRYLAND!

HIS BRAIN BECOMES AS SOFT AS CHEESE!
HIS POWERS OF THINKING RUST AND FREEZE!
HE CANNOT THINK–HE ONLY SEES!

'All right!' you'll cry. 'All right!' you'll say,
'But if we take the set away,

What shall we do to entertain
Our darling children? Please explain!'

We'll answer this by asking you,
'What used the darling ones to do?

'How used they keep themselves contented
Before this monster was invented?'

Have you forgotten? Don't you know?
We'll say it very loud and slow:

THEY...USED...TO...READ! They'd READ and READ,
AND READ and READ, and then proceed

To READ some more. Great Scott! Gadzooks!
One half their lives was reading books!

The nursery shelves held books galore!
Books cluttered up the nursery floor!

And in the bedroom, by the bed,
More books were waiting to be read!

Such wondrous, fine, fantastic takes
Of dragons, gypsies, queens, and whales

And treasure isles, and distant shores
Where smugglers rowed with muffled oars,

And pirates wearing purple pants,
And sailing ships and elephants,

And cannibals crouching 'round the pot,
Stirring away at something hot.

(It smells so good, what can it be?
Good gracious, it's Penelope.)

The younger ones had Beatrix Potter
With Mr. Tod, the dirty rotter,

And Squirrel Nutkin, Pigling Bland,
And Mrs. Tiggy–Winkle and–

Just How The Camel Got His Hump,
And How The Monkey Lost His Rump,

And Mr. Toad, and bless my soul,
There's Mr. Rat and Mr. Mole–

Oh, books, what books they used to know,
Those children living long ago!

So please, oh please, we beg, we pray,
Go throw your TV set away,

And in its place you can install
A lovely bookshelf on the wall.

Then fill the shelves with lots of books,
Ignoring all the dirty looks,

The screams and yells, the bites and kicks,
And children hitting you with sticks–

Fear not, because we promise you
That, in about a week or two
Of having nothing else to do,

They'll now begin to feel the need
Of having something good to read.

And once they start–oh boy, oh boy!
You watch the slowly growing joy

That fills their hears. They'll grow so keen
They'll wonder what they'd ever seen

In that ridiculous machine,
That nauseating, foul, unclean,
Repulsive television screen!

And later, each and every kid
Will love you more for what you did.

P.S. Regarding Mike Teavee,
We very much regret that we
Shall simply have to wait and see

If we can get him back his height.
But if we can't–it serves him right."

http://www.roalddahlfans.com/books/charsongs.php

The last scholar of the last generation leaves us.

2009-07-16T00:55:00.003+01:00

How sad to hear of the passing away of the great scholar Sheikh Abdullah bin Jibreen. May Allah grant him Jannatul Firdaws and have mercy on his soul. Aameen.
And may Allah grant him ongoing reward through the students who he taught (Sheikh Haitham al-Haddad being one of them). And through the students of his students and their students until the Last Day. Aameen. Guardians of the deen...that is what they are.

Sheikh Haitham talks about his teachers with many lessons for Students of Knowledge.

Made me think about how much we depend on the people of knowledge for guidance and direction and motivation and how much evil their presence and words prevent in society. I cannot imagine what it will be like if our scholars in our countries leave us.

The Hijab Martyr & Hijab ban in France

2009-07-09T00:19:00.003+01:00

Hijab Martyr

May Allah grant her jannah and give her husband and family patience at this time.

Subhan Allah. I was just discussing this with my dad today and he made an interesting observation: although of course we have to resist any attempt in Europe to ban the hijab or niqab, he was saying how what has happened in France is that instead of Muslim 'integrating' as all this anti-religious symbols legislation is meant to make everyone do, it has motivated Muslims to open their own institutions and their own schools and seperated them even more from society on the one hand (so the French government will realise it has been a counterproductive and stupid law) but on the other hand there will be more Muslim institutions (which is a good thing). Also, the reason why Sarkozy even mention the 'burkah' (I'm sick of that word, who calls it a 'burkah' nowadays anyway?!), was that more women have started wearing niqab since the ban on hijab was introduced!!!

The same in this case. It is tragic, beyond words. But it will make more women in Egypt and Germany wear hijab! Yes! So those who think that such bullying of Muslim women will make us remove our hijabs are wrong.

Plan your Summer Hols

2009-07-06T22:26:00.003+01:00

I thought I'd tell you about two clubs that I love my kids to attend during the Summer. I usually book them in to do at least 1 week of each and fit it around any other holiday stuff we might be doing.

1. Enjoy-a-ball (For 4-9 year olds)
The one in North West London is brill! Nicole the Troll (the lady who runs it) is great with children and it's 4 hours of activity and fun for them. They do a craft activity and have a snack in the middle of the session too. My kids love it.

2. Creative Drawing Studio (For 6 years+)
The Summer short courses are really well run and they will come home every day with a beautiful creation using the best art materials. It's only 1 and a half hours a day in the morning and you book on a weekly basis. Each week has a particular theme.

World Have Your Say Podcast

2009-07-02T22:57:00.004+01:00

Assalamu Alaikum

This is a BBC World Service podcast we took part in today:

Is the Islamic World Guilty of Double Standards

I love what the brother Hassan from Saudi says at the end:

In the Muslim World you are free to have a higher moral standard!!! The Muslim takes his moral standard with him wherever he goes! Great stuff!
FB

Common Questions about the Burkah (Burqah)

2009-07-01T02:34:00.010+01:00

Here I will answer some of the common questions about the 'Burkah'. I will keep adding to the questions and answers whenever I get a chance.

Question 1: Do Muslim women who wear the Burkah wear it all the time?

Women who wear the face veil only do so outside of their homes or when in the presence of men who are not closely related to them...not in front of children and other women. They get their hair done, wear make-up, go clothes shopping, as well as jewellery and lingerie shopping! They wear very 'normal' clothing at home and amongst their family and female company. They have female only parties and gatherings and dress up and enjoy socialising. They go to the hairdressers, wear make up...but they don't expose their beauty to just anyone.

QUICK ANSWER: No, only outside of the home when in the presence of men who are not closely related to them. We dress in everyday clothing when we are with family, women and children.

Question 2: Is the Burkah (Face-veil) in the Qur'an?

Many Muslim women do regard covering the face to be an obligation because that it one of the Orthodox interpretations of the Qur'anic verse about 'the outer garment' or 'jilbab' (which is command in the Qur'an).

Chapter 33 Verse 59 says (this is the meaning as the Qur'an is in the original Arabic and translations cannot do justice to it):

'O Prophet! Say to your wives and your daughters and the women of the Believers to draw their jalabib (plural of jilbab) close around them (when they are in the presence of men who are not closely related to them); that is better that they will be recognized and not molested. And God is ever Forgiving, Gentle.'

The Jilbab, mentioned in this verse is interpreted by a body of Orthodox scholars as being: an outer garment that covers everything but the face and hands that we are required to wear outside of the home. Orthodox scholars differed as to whether that included the face or not. However the obligation of the face-veil is an Orthodox opinion held by male and female scholars of Islam throughout the ages and many women hold to that opinion and they have a right to do so.

Other women would like to cover their faces because it is a rewardable act (something God will reward them for) and because great women throughout history like the wives of the Prophet (peace be upon him) did so...they are their role models. But essentially it is an act of devotion, that extra bit of modesty when women are out and about and it is done to please God and no one else. So yes, the face-veil being in the Qur'an is one of the Orthodox interpretations of a verse in the Qur'an.

The thing is...does it matter to you if it is in the Qur'an or not? Isn't the issue here that a woman should be allowed to do it if she wishes, as long as it doesn't harm society? Isn't it her human right to do so?

QUICK ANSWER: Yes it is one of the Orthodox interpretations of the Qur'an held by scholars throughout the ages and many Muslim women believe in it being an obligation and have the right to do so. And any way, whether it's in the Qur'an or not....isn't it her right to dress like that if she wishes?

Question 3: What do women in the burkah do when they go to a bank or go through the airport?

Well...usually, if asked, they just show their face and ID to a female member of staff. That's all. This has been happening for years. Some of the Muslim countries have tighter security checks than the UK and you just show your face to a female member of staff...if a female member of staff wasn't present then the veiled woman could show her face to a male member of staff (if there was a genuine need) and then move on. There is a difference between individual situations where a woman may need to show her face (in situations of necessity this may be OK) and banning it outright.

Question 4: Isn't the Muslim world guilty of double standards in expecting Muslims to be allowed to dress how they want in Europe and America, but Westerners can't dress how they want in many Islamic countries.

Question 5: Do you believe all men are predatory? The niqab seems to imply this.

Question 6: How can you teach with a face-veil on?

Question 7: What about women who are being forced to wear the face-veil? We need to protect them.

Sheikh Haitham beat me to it!

http://islam21c.com/politics-law-society/discussing-the-symbol-of-subjugation.html

Swine Flu

2009-06-30T22:17:00.002+01:00

If you suspect that your child might have swine flu...if he or she has a fever, and flu like symptoms, contact NHS Direct (UK): 0845 4647

Here is some useful info:
http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Pandemic-flu/Pages/QA.aspx

Michael Jackson took his Shahadah

2009-06-29T01:38:00.005+01:00

When you look at his life you think: tragic.

But Yusuf Estes announced a couple of days ago on Iqra channel and a number of Du'aat have confirmed this from him that he met Jermaine Jackson who told him that Michael Jackson did actually take his Shahadah two months ago walhamdulillah while he was in Dubai.

In the UAE it got a lot of publicity apparently but not much worldwide press. So if that is the case then may Allah forgive him and enter him into Jannah. Ameen.

Look how Allah protected him from accumulating the sins of all the people who would have attended his 50 concerts which he in his ignorance had planned.

Notice at the end of this press statement that Jermaine Jackson mentions Allah:

Jermaine Jackson on his brother's death

I do hope that somehow he has a Muslim burial...but with so many people involved and with his Islam being so new....whow knows what will happen. May Allah protect all of us upon our deaths.

I think the episode of his death has shaken people because of a number of reasons:

- It has reminded them that no matter how much fame and money you accumulate, there is no escaping death...the capitalist dream is an illusion.

- It is reminding them subconsciously of the fact that their own lives are passing and they will too die. Because Michael Jackson has always been a presence in many people's lives...in the background or foreground...his death is like making them freak out and feel insecure about their own lives.

- In the absence of a deen, Shaitan allowed people to find a sort of escape and false sense of happiness in his music and the message of some of his music...it was like a religion for them. He was their idol. The idol is no more.

Akhawaat Mujaahidaat

2009-06-29T01:34:00.002+01:00

See our respected sister Umm Hamza in action with her Jihad of the tongue:

The Big Questions (on Niqab)

And my dear sister Na'ima with her Jihad of the pen:

Niqabi interrupted

I will add more things as and when they come insha Allah.

Learning from mistakes

2009-06-28T16:14:00.003+01:00

Sometimes Allah reminds you that you are prone to making mistakes. I have been reminded of that and that I need to be really careful when or if I am going to speak on behalf of Islam and Muslims.

I'm feeling a bit gutted. I was on a BBC Radio 4 phone-in show yesterday and I made a big mistake. I got confused when the presenter pitted me up against some other callers who were against the niqab. The confusion came when it seemed that they were using the word 'burkah' as meaning the jilbab one minute and then the niqab the next. I thought (rather foolishly) that when they said 'burkah', that they meant the jilbab as in the outer garment of a Muslim woman (not necessarily including niqab) so I made some statements that were incorrect or that needed to be explained differently.

I really regret it and am kicking myself for the mistake. I also didn't sound very calm and collected which is another thing I regret. I guess it was because I was out and about and not prepared enough.

What can I do? I've written to the show to tell them my mistake and ask how I could correct it.

It's made me realise that you really need to think 100 times before you call the media about any issue and make sure you understand all of the terms they are using, or how they are understanding the terms, not how you understand them.

May Allah forgive me. Sometimes in our eagerness to protect this deen we are hasty. A part of me is saying "don't talk to the media again, look at the silly mistake you made!". Another part of me is saying...."no....just make sure you never make that mistake again and think carefully before speaking".

The biggest mistake is not learning from our mistakes.

May Allah forgive me. May He give us wisdom, a tongue that always speaks the Truth and what is correct. Aameen.

FB

The attitude with which to enter marriage

2009-06-24T22:13:00.004+01:00

So you've decided that he is the one you will marry. Here is the mindset I tried to have when I was about to get married:

1. I will be my husband's best friend.
2. I will be indispensible to him, an asset.
3. I will do anything he wants me to. (Obviously expecting it not to contradict with Allah's laws)
4. We both want to better ourselves so will work together to do so.
5. I will love his family and refer to and treat his parents as I would my parents.
6. I will make him laugh and enjoy my company.
7. If problems should ever arise, I will not discuss them with anyone...I will resolve them with my husband.
8. I will always express my love for him.
9. I will be patient and see things from his point of view.
10. I will not forget the huge burden/role that he has in providing for me and our family and the hard work he does.
11. I will not put him down. I will be the wind beneath his wings...motivating him.
12. If we argue passionately we will do so in order to become better people...and will love each other passionately too.
13. Failure of my marriage is not an option!!

Amazing Motherhood

2009-06-24T03:08:00.009+01:00

(Or Upset stomachs=lots of mess)

Today I was barfed on twice and changed bedding 3 times. But I didn't flinch. Just undressed, dressed, cleaned it all up, got on with it. When your child has an upset tummy - expect the worst - it will happen!

Here is how I've tried to make days like today smoother:

1. Patience (breath in....breath out, this is why you have so many rights over them when they grow up!)

2. Having Pampers Bed Mats in stock...great for putting under their bedding as a mattress protector or for covering wet patches on the carpet after you've cleaned them. A mattress protector is useful too but it'll have to go in the wash. Pillow covers and protectors.

3. A bucket of warm water at the ready, with two or three cloths: first mopping up with kitchen towels and baby wipes (baby wipes are the best invention since cotton wool!), then cleaning with warm water, then again with a bit of fairy liquid (not soaking the carpet, just scrubbing with a little water), then again with a wet cloth as many times as you need to.

4. Having some easy to wear Kaftans at hand...so that if I get the stuff on me, I can whip off and whip on clean clothing.

5. A tub for trying to catch as much of the vomit as you can in.

6. Plenty of spare bedding (sheets, pillow covers etc.)

7. Plenty of spare pyjamas or old t-shirts and loungewear for the kids.

8. Damage limitation: limiting the child to one or two room so that the mess is less.

9. A bin bag ready nearby for all the dirty bedding and clothes.

Until you become a parent, you can truly never understand what it feels like to be totally attentive to another human being, totally at their service, not because you have to be but because it is in your instincts to be.

I remember before I had children, when I was a newly-wed, a sister who I respected a lot came to my house with her toddler. Her toddler was all over the place and she tried her best to get him to sit down but it was obviously not getting through to him. I, with my total lack of maternal experience, remember thinking how badly disciplined he was, why couldn't she just stop him from trying to pour the sugar out of my precious sugar bowl? Why couldn't she do some of the things that I can do? Now I know.

I didn't realise or have any idea that being a mother was not like any other job or career, where you go in, work hard, come home to your family and do some chores maybe...cook. If you are living with your parents, dinner will probably be ready for you so you won't have to worry about that. If you're feeling tired, your mum'll let you have a lie in. As one sister put it "You are still at the centre of your own world."

Being a mother on the other hand, means that if your child is awake, so are you. Right from the beginning, you stay up late at night, your body is no longer yours. His survival depends on your getting up every few hours to feed him. Your eyes hurt, you feel like you might die of sleep deprivation, your limbs ache, but you do it. You can't call in sick with this job...no way. Every time you feed that child, every time you stroke her, her brain and personality develops a little. You very soon realise that life will never be the same again. What did you used to do before this? You can't remember. You might have your first argument with your husband as frazzled nerves and lack of sleep take their toll on you both.

Yet you emerge from those early months, stronger, maturer, more patient, capable of more love and compassion (more thankful to your mother): a better human being. You cannot understand that until you experience it yourself.

Someone once mentioned to me that I should maybe write a book on motherhood. I felt surprised at the very suggestion because I, like everyone else, am just figuring this parenting gig out for myself. I'm armed with what Allah has given me: my instincts, what I know that Islam tells us to do in certain situations, my istikharah, my own childhood experiences...they guide me. But most of it is trial and error. Maybe when my kids are grown and married I could write a book about it but definitely not now. Right now I'm living it.

I have experienced the joy, the motivation, the fears and the regrets. I've wept for my children, obsessed, sacrificed, deliberated over, learnt to have tawakkul, learnt to let go. (All that when my children haven't even reached the age of 8 yet!) When my first son started school, I stayed with him for half the day and then walked home (3 miles away) crying all the way. When one of my children is given a certificate, or a teacher praises him, or he stands up in assembly and presents something, I get butterflies in my stomach and my eyes well-up with pride. I constantly think about what could benefit my children, what could harm them.

Have you ever felt sheer panic at the thought that these hungry little people depend on you for food? That even if you weren't brought up to know your way around the kitchen, you have to cook every meal and you have to make sure it's all nutritious because they depend on you and what you give them totally for their nourishment and for their health! (After Allah subhanahu wa ta'alah of course) Gulp! The first time I felt that, my heart started beating faster.

Don't ask me to explain those feelings. I can't. They are what they are. They are there. You will never feel those things for any other human being except for your children.

The thing is, unlike a job, you are not the centre of your world. Your children are. If they need something or are ill, everything stops...you can time manage as much as you like, but children make you realise that you are not running the show. And that is that.

What we have to learn is to help the show run as smoothly as possible, plan ahead, brace ourselves and make du'a every single day!

Teaching Knowledge is an amaanah....a trust.

2009-06-21T15:37:00.009+01:00

Just wanted to share with you something that has made me think and I hope it makes you think too, especially if you are an educator or a teacher or conveying knowledge, especially Shar'ee knowledge to people. Sometimes, we can start slacking and not preparing for lessons or talks as well as we should...

This week two people who I regard as teachers and mentors said exactly the same thing to me from two totally different parts of the world and it made me sit up and take notice and want to pull my socks up in my own preparation for circles/lessons(These are not exactly their words, but paraphrased):

Umm 'Amr from Egypt said to me during a lesson in Arabic grammar: "This knowledge (of Arabic grammar) becomes Fard 'Ain upon some people. Those people are the students of Shari'ah; because they must understand the Shar'ee texts correctly and they can't do that without grammar. And it is necessary for the teachers of Arabic to learn. When you are a teacher it is an amaanah (trust) upon you that you convey accurate knowledge and fulfill the rights of the student who has come to seek from you."

Abu Yusuf (Sheikh Tawfique) in Australia said this when discussing a project: "It is not about being a perfectionist...I learnt more when I was preparing to teach some of the students in Madinah than I did from lessons for myself alone, because I would go to the Shuyookh and check and make sure I understood correctly and it made me learn the knowledge in a much deeper way when I knew I would be teaching it. Knowledge is an amaanah...you have to give the knowledge properly, correctly."

A poster from the Arab world....

2009-06-21T04:24:00.000+01:00

A visit to my street in Hackney

2009-06-17T04:00:00.009+01:00

After attending a course on Sunday...seeing as I was in East London I thought I'd go and take a trip down memory lane and go to the estate where I spent my early years. I think I went last year to have a look but it'd been quite dark and I didn't really get to have as good a look as I'd wanted. It was much further than I thought. Right by the river.

It was an amazing and heartwarming experience. I actually saw so many familiar things that triggered other related memories. I passed by the road where my mum was mugged...and my first best friend's house...the park where we'd done a sponsored walk...the road we'd lined when Prince Charles had come for a visit. I actually walked my walk to school, to experience it again. Wow. The pub was gone

View Larger Map
...the pavement was newer...everything that had looked so huge to me as a child, including the walk to school, seemed so small and short. The shops had changed...but there was the sweet shop that we always went to.

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I went in and got something. I told the shopkeeper that I used to come to this shop when I was a kid, we used to call it Jack's Shop. Jack was an Indian Hindu guy who was one of the sons of the owner of the shop. I was told that Jack had sold up 6 years ago. The green grocers had been replaced by a launderette. I walked down to the River Lea and appreciated the view.

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Subhan Allah. We used to take walks down there.

The estates looked a bit neater, they'd been done up.

View Larger Map
Indeed it was because the council was doing up our estate that we had been evicted. Seeing my school made me smile...the weeping willow tree...

View Larger Map
the school looked different, it had been built up more, but I walked around it and looked through the fence at the familiar football pitch where we played every day against the class below us. (I was known as a 'goal hanger'.) Those football games were so exciting and we looked forward to every play time just so we could continue them.

I felt so thankful, both for Allah bringing us there and taking us out of there. When we were evicted we were placed in Barnet...worlds apart from Hackney. I thought of all the kids there, all the little flats and people living like sardines in a tin.

Amazing all the little experiences that have made you the person you are. Seemingly random experiences. But nothing is random...you don't know where you will end up, where you will go along the way, who you'll meet.

When we were leaving Hackney, we were crying, because we were leaving our friends, our school and were uncertain about where we would go. But it had been a blessing that I wouldn't recognise until really I had children of my own and reflected on childhood and motherhood in a deeper way.

It really makes you feel that you are being taken on a journey, you are not the driver. You think you are. But you're not really...the car is in good hands. Enjoy the journey stop off to take in the view, glean as much good from and give as much good to everyone you meet along the way.

Memories of Hackney in the 80s.

2009-06-11T01:06:00.007+01:00

Witnessing and experiencing the opposite of Islam - a society bereft of guidance can draw you closer to Islam.

I was just thinking how I haven't shared any personal thoughts with you for some time. So here's something I was thinking about today:

Everything we've ever experienced in childhood, can be used by us as adults to continuously blame and point to, as the cause of our problems and lack of success in any given area of life. Alternatively, the same experiences can be analysed, our emotions acknowledged and then those experiences used as catalysts in our lives, motivating us to cause change and achieve good things.

I went to school for a number of years in one of the most deprived areas of the UK: The London Borough of Hackney. My headteacher was an exceptionally inspiring man however and really tried to give us every opportunity to excel academically if we wanted to excel. Still I remember the faces of those children at the school who I am sure had traumatic childhoods and broken homes. You could see the insecurity in their faces: I remember Ronnie, the blonde, skinny, boy with large, red, bloodshot eyes and pink lips. He seemed to always be in tears, breaking down at the first sign of any stress, even when he was 10 years old. I remember the black boys, quick to vent anger in antisocial ways, putting on that act of talking tough all the time because they seemed to think they had to. I remember the Turkish boy whose clothes always seemed shabby, like he'd worn them all night (and maybe all week) and whose nose was always running. I remember the Gujerati Muslim kids from families who were barely practising, who loved watching Amitabh Bachan movies: Sholay (Ye dosti ham nahee chorenge-e-eh! I even remember the words!), Coolie (was that the one where Amitabh Bachan said Laa ilaha illallah?), Naseeb (mere naseeb me tu hai ke nahi, tere naseeb me mai hu ke nahi..). They knew little about Islam really but seemed to take superstitious stories and beliefs from their cultures and label them Islam.

There are other more uncomfortable memories: the way in which many of the children were quick to turn to abusive and violent behaviour, used language that showed that they just knew too much about sex, too soon. There was a huge black boy in my class who would try to push the girls in the corner and lift up their skirts and touch them in a horrible way. I remember I was about 7 years old when he pushed me into a corner of my classroom and before he could do anything I remember reacting by pushing him away as hard as I could and running off, but never mentioning it to any of the adults around me. As a child, you accept everything that is around you as normality...just another annoying playground experience. You don't question it or think to make a fuss about things...until you reflect on it when you are older.

Then there was our next door neighbour - I'll call her Sally. Sally was a young, rather fat, pale white woman who lived next to us on our estate. She had two small children, Jason and Sarah if I remember correctly. They had Cockney accents and swore like troopers. We knew which day the Child Benefit came through because she would wear a money container around her neck and go shopping, buying all sorts of toys and sweets for Jason and he'd bring them around to show us. The toys would invariably be broken by the end of the day. Sally would often pop round to ask us for some sugar or other ingredient she was missing, but I think she really just needed a spot of conversation. Standing at our doorstep I'd hear her tell my mum about herself. She had a boyfriend who she called 'husband' sometimes and 'boyfriend' at others. He seemed to come in and out of her life at intervals. One day she told us that her boyfriend had been taken away by the police: he was in jail for domestic violence. She said he used to beat her in front of the kids when he was in a rage. Jason would crawl behind a sofa and watch his mum being beaten by his drunk father. He was only about 5 years old. A few years later, when her boyfriend was released...she would take him back, because that was the only life she knew how to live. What else did she have to live for? I wonder where Jason is now. In a prison somewhere? Homeless and on benefits beating up his girlfriend? I hope he found a different way to live but I suspect that, like his mum, it was the only life he knew how to live. He'd never been shown any other way. Or maybe he might remember families like mine: mum, dad and the kids, patient with their neighbours, working hard at school...and maybe he will have seen that there were other ways he could live.

When my mum told me about Allah and taught me about Islam, I easily accepted what she said because the opposite if Islam was all around us and was proof enough. It made sense to me...I knew already, because I'd seen the opposite of Islam every day of my school life and so much of it stank. I secretly felt thankful that my parents weren't like the parents of the kids I saw at school, they represented to me, integrity, goodness, wholesome things that were the way they were meant to be...my sense of security came from seeing my parents loving relationship. My mum's shy girlishness and how she looked up to my father in everything and my father's gentleness towards my mother his efforts to make things nice for us...never making us feel as though we were lacking in anything, our home was our island of peace.

The stairwell of our estate reeked of urine but thankfully we never had to use it as we were on the ground floor. There was a pub nearby and we'd hold our breath and run past it every morning on the way to school. Dogs doings littered the pavements which we'd avoid diligently...it was a grim place to live. One day, on the way home from school, an old man asked me "Excuse me do you know where this street is" and pointed to a booklet he had in his hand. When I looked he was pointing at a photo of a naked woman. I quickly darted away from him and ran home, remembering that our headteacher had told us in assembly earlier that week that there was an old man stopping children on the streets near the school and that we should stay away from him.

I remember feeling a sense of angry disbelief when one day I came home from school to find that my mum had been mugged by a black guy in the rain. My father was abroad and she had no house key except the one in the bag that the thief had run off with. That image (obviously something I'd imagined) of my mum, walking innocently in the rain with my little sister and a man having the inhumanity to want to do something bad to her, hurt her, cause a little Asian woman distress and difficulty, was incomprehensible to me: inhumane. Yet, had I not seen and heard about such things, I wouldn't have seen the example of patience set in front of me by my mother as special, nor would I have valued my parents and realised their worth. And neither would I have appreciated Islam as much as I did.

Sheikh Bilal Ismail KnowledgeHive Toronto

2009-06-09T00:33:00.004+01:00

This is one of the senior AlKauthar Students Guild teachers in the Knowledge Hive in Toronto which is taking place right now! In this lecture he is introducing Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah rahimahullah (or alternatively Ibn ul-Qayyim (not Ibn Qayyim, nor Ibn ul-Qayyim il-Jawziyyah!)) and the book Mukhtasar Zad ul-Ma'ad I believe (haven't had a chance to view the video yet.)

Sheikh Bilal KnowledgeHive Toronto 2009

AlKauthar Youth (Survey)

2009-06-05T23:51:00.004+01:00

Assalamu Alaikum

If you have children between 12-18 years old, please complete this quick survey and get your children to complete the one for them below. A youth programme is currently being developed by the AlKauthar Students Guild. One of the brothers involved with this project says: "This programme would be simple yet challenging, accessible yet managed and a modern approach to gaining and teaching knowledge and incorporating Tarbiyah which is much needed at the early years of a teenagers development."

Survey for parents

Survey for teenagers

We need 1000 responses a.s.a.p!

Arabic letters animation & website for kids

2009-05-31T02:23:00.004+01:00

My son sings this nasheed...he learnt it at school and I just found it on the internet!

Arabic Alphabet Animation Song

Here's a cute Arabic website for the kids to explore...it's been revamped!

Harf Kids

Brilliant!

New Muslim School in NW London

2009-05-23T15:07:00.003+01:00

Assalamu Alaikum

Just wanted to announce to anyone who has kids and is interested that there is a new private Muslim primary school opening from September this year in North West London in a proper school building ma sha Allah.

They are taking kids for every year group Reception to Year 6.

Application deadline is 15th June 2009....Thought it might be useful for parents out there.Here is the link and the application form is there too if you scroll down:

There will be a Family Fun Day on Bank Holiday Monday 25th May 2009 11am-5pm at
Barnet Multicultural Centre
Algernon Road
West Hendon
London NW4 3TA

Ayesha Primary School

How to deal with ignorant but arrogant people

2009-05-16T20:05:00.000+01:00

إذا نطق السفيه فلا تجبه فخير من إجابته السكوت

فإن كلمته فرجت عنـه وإن تركته كمداً يمـوت

When a fool speaks up, answer him not.
To be silent is better than to reply.
For if you engage with him, you gratify him.
And if left, he will of distress die

What is it? ما هذا؟

2009-05-14T01:49:00.005+01:00

How many times do people show irritation towards their parents for little habits they may have, little idiosyncrasies. Next time, let us smile and remember that we had even more annoying idiosyncrasies when we were little, yet they were ever forbearing in their treatment of us.

Obviously we should deal with these things patiently - do as they wish, however much we find it an inconvenience.

It takes self-awareness...how would you treat a friend's parent? Is this how I would like my children to treat me?

Insha Allah will translate the video in a few days when I have a bit more time.

Tell your children to pray when they are seven

2009-05-11T23:30:00.003+01:00

The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
“Tell your children to pray when they are seven years old and smack them if they do not pray when they are ten, and separate them in their beds.”Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood (495).

The word in the hadeeth means 'order' or 'command' them to pray when they are seven.
I asked Sheikh Haitham about what our duties are towards our son who has reached the age of 7 with regards to Salaah. He said that at every prayer time, we should try to tell him to pray. If he doesn't, then there is no sin upon us, but we should just tell him to and encourage him to. That includes waking him up for Fajr. He said it is a good idea to try and get him up for Fajr, just to habituate him to it. We shouldn't think it will be too difficult for him - sometimes parents project their own feelings towards things onto their children. Sometimes children think it's fun to be up with their parents. At this age we are not to force him, just to tell him to do it and teach him. Sheikh said he knows of a brother who said he finds it difficult to get up for Fajr because his parents never woke him up for Fajr because they thought it'd be too difficult for him. Obviously it is a case of habituating ones children to it.

A good idea is for fathers to take their sons to the Masjid with them as much as they can. At the age of ten they should be praying regularly.

My thoughts are that if they are used to seeing their parents take Salaah seriously and organise their day around salah, then they will find it easier to do that too. With boys I've noticed that they look up to their dads so it's really important for dad to lead the way with them when it comes to salah, make it nice for them, get them to make wudu, wear perfume and line up with dad, or by themselves.

One sister told me she gets her son to lead all of them at home in prayer (her son is a teenager).

I think it's important to make things conducive to them wanting to pray. If you are always telling them to pray as soon as they have started a new activity, then they may start resenting it...better to organise activities around prayer, so that it is part of the day. I don't force my son. We tell him to pray before school and then Dhuhr after school (as it's Summer) and the rest of the prayers too in their times. Next year he will have Salah at school insha Allah. At the moment if he doesn't pray, we don't chastise him at all. But when he does we praise his efforts. Probably going to start waking him up for Fajr next year I think insha Allah.

May Allah guide us to do what is best. Aameen.

This is the du'a of Ibrahim from Surah Ibrahim Aayah 40, a du'a we can all make for ourselves and our kids:

رَبِّ اجْعَلْنِي مُقِيمَ الصَّلاةِ وَمِنْ ذُرِّيَّتِي رَبَّنَا وَتَقَبَّلْ دُعَاء

Rabbij 'alnee muqeemas salaati wa min dhureeyatee rabbanaa wa taqabbal du'aa.

"Lord! Make me a person who establishes the prayer and my offspring, Our Lord and accept our Du'a!"

Aameen thumma aameen!

Homosexuality today, Paedophilia tomorrow...

2009-05-08T03:08:00.006+01:00

A while back I tried to speak to a radio presenter on a London Radio Station about how if homosexuality is accepted today when it was recognised as a perversion in the past, what is stopping paedophilia becoming more acceptable in the future? He was disgusted. He said you are implying that homosexuals are on their way to being paedophiles....and he cut me off.

I feel strongly about this and I would be interested in the statistics. This terrible article proves to me something I suspect...that once a person starts changing the nature that Allah created them with...if they start accepting that and acting upon it...and if it becomes cool in society, then no doubt other perversions will follow...they will be easier for that person to commit. Society accepting same-sex attraction as normal and allowing people to act upon their perverted desires, giving them the excuse "I was born that way", "I can't control the way I am no more than I could control what colour hair I was born with" and rubbish like that paves the way for people who abuse children to use similar excuses. Are the whims and desires of mankind genetic? OK so you say homosexuality is genetic, then is paedophilia genetic? Of course not. It is a conditioned state of being. It is the result of conditioning, the product of a society which bombards its populace from the earliest age, with images of nakedness and sex, making women cheap, desensitising people to what is normally attractive, so that their nature becomes confused or no longer finds what should normally be attractive, a turn-on. Then people need things to be more explicit, different, exotic, perverted, to feel a basic level of attraction...

The liberal society that they so cherish has left so many of them unable to fully experience and feel fulfilled and satisfied with the most basic of human pleasures.

This is the response by Abu Ammar to someone asking him what he should do about feelings of attraction towards the same sex.

My own thoughts are that we must protect the next generation by:

-Protecting them from viewing nakedness of any sort, that includes the catalogues we sometimes have in our homes.

-Teaching them to lower their gazes from a young age.

-Allowing them healthy friendships while they are young with boys and girls.

-Allowing them to see healthy marriages in their own homes (ie their parents), loving and not prudish and awkward.

-Throwing away the television...which bombards them with uncontrollable images of women who dance and flaunt their bodies and men who are effeminate, grooming them for the sex driven teen-culture that follows.

-Not exposing them to the totally sexualised music industry, where women act and don't mind acting like slaves to whatever men desire. Where adultery and betrayal are sung about as a normal part of life and trivialised.

-Building Taqwa in them: Allah sees all that we see and knows all that we are thinking about even if no one else can.

-Teaching them how to deal with bad thoughts...teaching them about privacy and modesty, what is shameful, what is not.

-Allow them to look forward to getting married when they start talking about it and making it easy for them to get married when they get to adulthood.

-Not overreacting when they innocently say or do things at a young age.

-Seperating them in their beds or with seperate bedding when they reach seven years old as well as teaching them to knock and ask for permission before entering a room are from the Sunnah and are such important safeguards that we must take seriously.

The Integrity of Malcolm X

2009-05-01T23:28:00.008+01:00

I've talked about this before but want to emphasise it again and add to it:

I read a part of this book by Spike Lee once about his research for the film 'X', about the life of Malcolm X and he said categorically, that he couldn't find any sleazy stuff about Malcolm X. He tried his best to find out if he had gone against the principles he taught...and found nothing. And Lee was surprised because Martin Luther King was a serial adulterer even though he preached chastity and others too were quick to condemn things but then they were known adulterers or weak in their personal lives...what Lee found was that there was no contradiction between the public Malcolm and the private Malcolm. That is why it was so unnacceptable to Malcolm X that Elijah Muhammad didn't have that basic level of integrity.

Brother Malcolm's honesty, his integrity shines through. If he had wanted, if he had been insincere, he could have carried on with the Nation of Islam...he was its most powerful member. It is difficult for anyone to admit their mistakes and be willing to change especially when they have so publicly been saying something and are known for it. To go against his own words and admit to having changed shows a total lack of egoism. He had the honesty to say the truth when he knew it.

He risked his life and the lives of his six children and wife by speaking the truth and becoming a true Muslim. He knew he would be killed for saying that the Nation of Islam and Elijah Mohammad were impostors.
But people of sincerity can't be dishonest about such fundamental things. He was killed for his Islam. May Allah accept him as a Shaheed (a martyr) and may his soul be in the heart of a green bird. He was only 39 years old when he passed away. This video brings home how aware he was that he would probably be killed very soon....

The Children of Gaza - Abdullah Rolle

2009-04-30T23:36:00.003+01:00

The New Era in Da'wah is here!

2009-04-25T00:26:00.003+01:00

Please donate generously to make the new era in da'wah a reality!

Da'wah to Jews and 7 Noachide Laws

2009-04-23T01:47:00.006+01:00

It seems that one of the most neglected groups of people when it comes to us doing da'wah, are the Jews. Yet Subhan Allah, I found the Jewish girls at a recent talk at a Private Girls School very warm and receptive, (perhaps since I showed them and explained this diagram:

Walking in Golders Green one Sunday, I came across a Jewish Da'wah table, where some elderly gentlemen with long white beards had a van advertising the 7 Noachide Laws. I went over to the table to have a read of their literature and found it really intriguing. I felt I had to tell one elderly man at the table that I already followed those 7 laws and he said, "good, please spread the word". It wasn't really the place for me to discuss any more so I left. But here is more on the subject....basically Orthodox Jews believe that we will have Jannah too if we (the non-Jews) follow these 7 laws:

__________________

Noachide Laws

"Ultimately, all is understood: fear G-d and observe His commandments, for this is the completion of man."Kohelet (Ecclesiastes) 12:13

With respect G-d's commandments, all of humanity is divided into two general classifications: the Children of Israel and the Children of Noah.

The Children of Israel are the Jews, the descendants of the Patriarch Jacob. They are commanded to fulfill the 613 commandments of the Torah.

The Children of Noah are the Gentiles, comprising the seventy nations of the world. They are commanded concerning the Seven Universal Laws, also known as the Seven Laws of the Children of Noah or the Seven Noahide Laws.

These Seven Universal Laws pertain to:
1.Avodah Zarah: Prohibition on idolatry.
2.Birchat HaShem: Prohibition on blasphemy and cursing the Name of G-d.
3.Shefichat Damim: Prohibition on murder.
4.Gezel: Prohibition on robbery and theft.
5.Gilui Arayot: Prohibition on immorality and forbidden sexual relations.
6.Ever Min HaChay: Prohibition on removing and eating a limb from a live animal.
7.Dinim: Requirement to establish a justice system and courts of law to enforce the other 6 laws.

Men and women are equal in their responsibility to observe the Seven Universal Laws.
When a Gentile resolves to fulfill the Seven Universal Laws, his or her soul is elevated. This person becomes one of the "Chasidei Umot Haolam" (Pious Ones of the Nations) and receives a share of the World to Come. The Torah calls one who accepts the yoke of fulfilling the Seven Universal Laws a "Ger Toshav" (a Proselyte of the Gate).

This person is permitted to live in the land of Israel and to enter to the Holy Temple in Jerusalem and to offer sacrifices to the G-d of Israel.

If a Gentile wishes to accept the full responsibility of the Torah and the 613 commandments, he or she can convert and become a Jew in every respect.

It is a principle of Judaism, however, not to seek converts and one who requests conversion is generally discouraged. Should the person persist in his or her desire to convert, counsel should be taken only with an Orthodox Rabbi or Torah Scholar, for conversion not in accord with Halacha - Torah Law - is no conversion at all, and conversion bestowed by "rabbis" who themselves do not follow the Laws of the Torah are null and void, neither recognized in heaven nor by any G-d-fearing Jew.

It is incorrect to think that since the Children of Israel have 613 commandments and the Children of Noah have seven commandments, that the ratio of spiritual worth is proportionally 613 to seven.

The Seven Universal Laws are general commandments, each containing many parts and details, whereas the 613 Commandments of the Torah are specific, each relating to one basic detail of the Divine Law. Therefore, the numerical disparity in no way reflects the relative spiritual worth of the two systems of commandments.

Besides the Seven Universal Laws, the Children of Noah have traditionally taken it upon themselves to fulfill the commandment of honoring mother and father, and the commandment of giving charity.

If a Noahide who follows the Seven Universal Laws gives charity, the Israelites accept it from him, and give it to the poor of Israel since through the merit of giving charity to the poor among the Jewish people one is given life by G-d and saved from death. But a Gentile who does not accept the yoke of the Seven Noahide Laws and gives charity is not permitted to give it to the needy of Israel. His charity may be given only to poor Gentiles.

By observing the Seven Universal Laws, mankind is given the means by which it can perfect itself.

The individual, through these laws, has the power to refine his essential being, and can reach higher and higher without limit. For it is written,"I call heaven and earth to bear witness, that any individual, man or woman, Jew or Gentile, freeman or slave, can have the Holy Spirit bestowed upon him. It all depends on his deeds."(Shaare Tzedek 60a, 60b)

The Jew's RoleThe Jew has a crucial role to play in this. He cannot be a bystander, remaining aloof from the world's conduct. Every Jew has the obligation to ensure that all the people of the world observe the Seven Noachide Laws.

It is through the observance of the Seven Noachide Laws that the entire world becomes a decent, productive place, a fitting receptacle for the Divine.

The Rambam explicitly rules (Code, Kings 8:10):"Moshe Rabbeinu commanded from the mouth of G-d to convince all the inhabitants of the world to observe the commandments given to the Children of Noach."

It is the Jew's duty to see to it that all peoples lead the righteous and decent life which comes from compliance with the Seven Noachide Laws. Not only is it a Jew's duty because he has been so commanded by G-d, but it is also to his own benefit.

Some 'Don'ts' for your wedding night...

2009-04-22T15:08:00.005+01:00

Sometimes I get to hear about some interesting stuff with regards to sisters preparing and worrying about their wedding nights....here are some of the big don'ts:

DON'T be on your period
Seriously, keep a diary of your monthly cycle or at least have an idea of it so that the wedding date can be kept all clear of your time of the month. (If you do miscalculate it, then I suppose you should tell him as subtly and as soon as is suitably possible after you are married.)

DON'T be too conservative when it comes to your lingerie
Even if he has a huge beard and never looks up, he will appreciate it. He might be reserved in public but he's saving his special attention for you.

DON'T expect the first night to be 'just getting to know each other'.
Take things as slowly or as quickly as he wants (or you want, I suppose!). Encourage him to talk to you if he is not a great talker and think about what heartfelt things you want to tell him, all things that will increase your sense of connection and make the mood romantic.

Basically be ready, willing and able.

Imam ash-Shafi’ee on travelling:

2009-04-22T02:58:00.004+01:00

Not a literal translation but capturing the meaning of these lines of poetry:

ما في المقام لذي عـقـل وذي أدب ... من راحة فدع الأوطان واغتـرب
سافر تجد عوضـا عمن تفارقــه ... وانْصَبْ فإن لذيذ العيش في النَّصب
إني رأيت ركـود الـماء يفســده ... إن ساح طاب وإن لم يجر لم يطب
والأسد لولا فراق الغاب ما افترست ... والسهم لولا فراق القوس لم يصب
والشمس لو وقفت في الفلك دائمة ... لملَّها الناس من عجم ومن عـرب

Diary Part 1 from SISTERS Spring 2009

2009-04-18T01:49:00.007+01:00

By Fatima Barkatulla

Part 1: Getting Married Young

I stood, taken aback for a moment, looking up at the familiar sight of the white building that was the Nile Hilton Hotel. Cairo is not the same place that I had left those years ago, and I am not at all the same person: the rather poor, dreadfully lonely, glaringly foreign, single student that I had been. I would sit sipping cappuccino all by myself in the Ibis Cafe, couched in the Nile Hilton’s enchanting courtyard; the warm, reassuring, sickly sweet aroma of shisha, wafting around me. It was my oasis of peace in the mad bustle of Downtown Cairo; my retreat in periods of homesickness, when I longed to hear someone speak in an English accent or just sat contemplating my current state of affairs. Every now and then I’d see happy sight-seeing couples and feel markedly sorry for myself.

Looking back, it seemed like a different life, not really mine at all, just a strange memory. And yet, my time in Egypt seems to have affected me to the core and shaped every part of me.

I was 15 years old, when my father said those inspiring words to me. Every so often you look back seeking those defining moments, when it seems that the course that your life could have taken changed, though in reality of course it was all preordained by Allah. We had been discussing my future plans and what I could do after my exams. I told him that I wanted to be a heart surgeon. I was, by the Grace of Allah, a prolific student and very academically inclined but had always dreamed of studying Islam in more depth, the way my father had done before me. Then he told me about Al-Azhar University in Cairo and how I could travel and study there. "You could be a doctor for physical diseases,” he said, “for healing the physical heart, but what about all those spiritual diseases around us? Where are the doctors who can heal the spiritual heart?" I was excited, and from that moment onwards I fixed my gaze onto my future in Egypt.

And then there I was, a teenager in Cairo, studying in Al-Azhar, trying to learn two languages at once: the classical Arabic of the Qur’an as well as the Cairene street-talk that seemed worlds apart. I rapidly realised that I wanted to be married. I yearned for companionship and it could have been a dangerous time for me if Allah had not protected me.

In the UK, growing up as a Muslim girl who wore hijab, men had always kept a respectful distance and I’d certainly never been chatted-up. But in Egypt, male attention was plentiful. My younger sister's constant retort rang in my ears: "Don't make eye-contact!" If you inadvertently made eye-contact with a man, he might get the wrong idea and then he’d ask for your father’s phone-number there and then! There would be students who would approach me for marriage, sometimes through a teacher or an elder student, but I just couldn't understand some of them: how could you have studied in an Islamic University for nine or ten years and then be clean shaven, unwilling to follow the command and Sunnah of our Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alaihi wa sallam? Surely knowledge without action was not true knowledge at all.

I used to think it would be impossible for me to combine being a student with being married. So I made du'a to Allah. "O Allah, I can't see how I could be a student and a wife... but nothing is difficult for you, so somehow, let me be married happily and seek knowledge!"

And then after two years of study and adventure I had to go home, though I continued my studies hoping to return to Egypt someday. Coming home was to be a blessing because at the age of 18, I met my future husband who promised to support me in my path of seeking knowledge and we got married! Getting married young was the best thing I ever did. What could be better than spending those years with someone who loves you, admires you, enjoys the best things about you and shares life's experiences with you? Aren't those the years when we are usually at our most energetic, physically attractive and fun-loving? Most of us feel that yearning to love and be loved, to enjoy and be enjoyed and yet sadly so many of us out of choice or powerlessness delay that experience, sometimes fearing our loss of freedom.

My husband has been pivotal in my own Islamic and intellectual development. Learning of course continues and always will insha Allah, whether through University or the University of Life. The fruits of our learning- what we do with that learning - is what matters most. I for one wouldn’t want to do it without him.

I never imagined that the next time I would step on Egyptian soil; I would no longer be the poor lonely student hanging-out in the foyer of the Nile Hilton. I would be staying at that very hotel as a guest, with my husband!

Explanation of al-Aajroomiyah by Sheikh 'Uthaimeen

2009-04-06T02:19:00.003+01:00

A beautiful, clear explanation of the matn of al-Aajroomiyah by Sheikh 'Uthaimeen...

It is an essential book to study for students of Arabic language.

Sheikh Uthaimeen explanation of AlMuqaddimah al-Aajroomiyah

Pearls of Wisdom from 'The Roadmap to Knowledge' course

2009-04-06T01:31:00.006+01:00

The Da'ee has to be patient:
4/5ths of humanity do not worship Allah but He is Patient...He is delaying their punishment and allowing them to repent.

If your Sheikh doesn't want to answer a particular question don't insist on it:
Sheikh Bin Baz (rahimahullah) would say 'Sabbih', when he didn't want to answer a particular question.

Imam ash-Shafi'ee said: فلك عينان و للناس أعين
"You have two eyes and the eyes of people are many", meaning that you have two eyes to look and find fault with people but the eyes of all the people who could find fault with you are many more in number.

Out of his Wara', Imam Ahmed stopped eating at the houses of his sons when they became scholars who were employed by the state...

Out of the 10 promised paradise, 6 were rich men.

Once a word comes out of your mouth, you can't take it back in.

Respect for elders/ for Sheikh:
Ibn 'Abbas spent two years with Sayyidina 'Umar before he gathered up the courage to ask him a question. He asked him who the two women in the aayah that mentions: (إن تظاهرا) were. Sayyidina 'Umar informed him that they were Aisha & Hafsa. (RadiAllahu anhum ajma'een).

You need to study under the supervision of a Sheikh. Allah didn't just send a book down from the sky and tell us to study it, He sent us Messengers to teach it to us.

Repeat a book many times before moving on to a bigger book.

Learning things is easy, mastering them is hard.

Arabic language has approximately 270 000 000 words.

The teacher is not just teaching information...he is a role model.

Doubting the purity of your intentions all the time is a trap of shaytan (from the whisperings of Shaitan).

Make multiple intentions:
Missing the reward for intentions is like missing free money that was being handed out.

Seeking Knowledge of deen is the best of all non-obligatory deeds

Imam Malik was going to be a singer/musician before he became a scholar, so his mother put the clothes of a scholar on him and told him that if he became a singer, as he got older, he would lose his voice and looks and people would leave him. But if he became a scholar, then the older he got, the more respect he would get. So Malik began his path to knowledge.

In some countries people insist on you eating more, and if you don't, they say: If you don't eat then my wife is divorced!"

Sheikh Haitham Reflecting on Death

2009-03-31T21:05:00.010+01:00

I wanted to share this reflection with you from Sheikh Haitham which he shared with us on Saturday:

Today after Fajr, the Sheikh was walking home when his thoughts wandered to remembering a relative of his who passed away at the age of 17. He began thinking about her...
...what was she doing now? What was happening to her? Where is she now...what kind of life is she leading? Sheikh thought about how she must be regretting some of the actions she may have been doing in this life.

The Sheikh reminded us that every son of Adam will feel a sense of regret...in Jannah he will regret not having done even more in this life and in Hellfire he will regret not having sought forgiveness and not having repented while he was in this world. Sheikh contemplated how she cannot do anything now. She had been dead for 25 years and in all that time, she couldn't do anything to improve her situation. He further reflected on his own death and how thousands of years could pass after it and yet he would not be able to improve his own situation. "All actions of the son of Adam come to an end when they die" he reminded us. Maut (death) is surely a Maw'idhah (an exhortation and reminder for us).

Those who have passed away, are gone, khalaas... they are a sign for us so that we can reflect upon these things and think: "We are still alive...we can still act".

The Sheikh encouraged us: whenever you think of a person who has died, make du'a for them and seek forgiveness for them...

...this life is a short period of time - use it...

Some factors that shaped the Prophet's personality (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam).

2009-03-24T19:44:00.000Z

Here are some interesting things that the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) grew up with that I feel helped his character develop. These things could be good things for building the character of a Da'ee in general, but I think we can also say that they build rujoolah in men:

-He spent time in the desert away from the pampering of the city, so that he would be used to a rougher life and be more thick-skinned and used to living in the harsh climate of the desert.

-He learnt the eloquent language of the bedouins. If a person has a good command of language then it builds confidence and self esteem in a person especially in oratory skills.

-He travelled with Abu Talib and saw people of different backgrounds in Syria (the Romans) and in the Souq 'Ukadh where he saw and heard poets and orators of different persuasions. Travelling makes you streetwise and helps you understand diversity in people.

-He was an orphan and so couldn't be spoilt like children who have both parents are prone to be.

-He had strong male role models (even though he was an orphan), like Abdul Muttalib and Abu Talib, who were respected leaders.

-His male role models (Abdul Muttalib in particular) used to love and honour him, allowing him to sit with him and saying that one day his grandson would be someone great. (What a self-esteem builder!)

-He was breastfed, so received the love, physical and emotional benefits not to mention nutritional benefits of breast milk and physical contact.

-He was a shepherd, so he learnt about working hard for a living, and learnt how to protect and prevent harm to his herd. A number of his wetnurses were women of excellent character. Apparently there is a narration I don't know how strong it is but it is attributed to the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) that he said: "Beware of who you choose as a wetnurse, because she is giving more than milk!" Indicating that the child takes from the character of the wetnurse or is affected by it.

-He married relatively young and had children in his 20s so he was a responsible man from a young age.

-He had a wife (Khadijah) who adored him, who respected him, served him even though she was from a wealthy background and who totally believed in him. Having experienced a number of marriages before and having experienced the bad characteristics of some of her male employees, she saw the beauty and unique nature of Al-Mustafa sallallahu alaihi wa sallam and proposed to him. If she was the one who was moved to propose to him, imagine how much she must have loved and shown love towards him. All this would be so important to a man. Even when he didn't have confidence in himself, she had total belief and confidence in him. Wow!

-His own friends were 'real men' and your friends are sure to have an effect on you and vice versa.

-He was concerned with people and 'politics' in that he took part in the Hilf ul-Fudhool, so he was mixing with the movers and the shakers of Makkah and they recognised him from a young age to be someone who they wanted to include in important matters...all things that build rujoolah.

Those are some of the things I've identified from before Prophethood that would most definitely have had an impact on his character sallallahu alaihi wa sallam. And I think we can take lessons from all of those things.

Let's think carefully how we will bring our children up.

Developing your child's handwriting skills

2009-03-16T21:05:00.001Z

Handwriting says so much about a person and really affects your confidence in expressing yourself in writing...so it's natural that we should help our children to develop beautiful handwriting. In my school, we were taught Calligraphy (Italics) and how to use calligraphy pens including dip pens. It was so much fun ma sha Allah. I went through this phase when I was about 9: I wanted my writing to be perfect, so I started writing in capital letters only! The actual capital letters were larger than the other letters. My teacher called my parents in to express concern and basically said that I'd better sort out my handwriting because I couldn't write in just capital letters!

So I thought about how I could have beautiful handwriting and this is what I did: I noticed that my best friend had great handwriting and so I asked her to teach me and I copied and practised and practised until Alhamdulillah I learnt to write in Italics like her and I loved it.
My headteacher had designed special guidelines that we could place under a sheet of plain A4 paper and write on. He hated lined paper and biros were banned from the school! Only Berol handwriting pens and fountain pens were allowed.

Here are my tips on how to get kids writing really nicely:

1. Don't rush them or force them. Let them play with things like play-dough and do some beading and colouring in and stuff to develop their fine-motor skills.

2. Keep a pot of sharpened HB pencils and erasers ready for use whenever they need them. Also have a container of colouring in pens, colouring in pencils, crayons etc available to them so that whenever they have the urge to write and colour they can do so. I keep mine stacked up in those 'Really useful boxes' you can get in WHSmith and Staples. Or you can keep them in a pot.

3. Then as we go through the Finger Phonics books I get them to use their fingers to correctly 'write' each cut-out letter shape as we go along. This is really important because it means they can already visualise how a letter should look and what the correct letter formation is.

4. When they start showing pencil control themselves, you can gently start showing them how to hold a pencil correctly: Boys tend to develop pencil control later than girls as their gross motor skills are still developing. My sons were 5 before they could really write with control and I let them develop at their own pace.

5. Then I use this book, working through it slowly but surely, a page a day. They get more and more control by the end of the book and you can gently keep encouraging them to hold the pencil correctly.

Kumon:My First Book of Upper Case Letters

6. Then I get them to go on to the Kumon: My First book of Lower Case letters.

Even if they do one or two pages a day they will make steady progress. There's no rush, but just keep it up little and often.

7. Obviously it isn't only about completing books of writing, you've got to give them the opportuinity to experiment and write on their own whatever they want to. You could use the next Kumon books: My Book of Writing words
or the Jolly Phonics work books so that they can get used to writing letters a bit smaller than they have been.

9. For joined-up writing: I found these book useful for my 7 year old:

Collins Handwriting Practice

Then he completed this one (though the wizards are a bit of a put-off...the book is practically speaking very effective): Hilarious Handwriting for 6-7 year-olds (teaches joined up writing).

Now we are insha Allah about to go onto this book which will help develop his own handwriting style insha Allah: Andrew Brodie's Handwriting Today Book 1 and then Andrew Brodie's Handwriting Today Book 2 and by then I expect him to have great handwriting insha Allah.

Other activities which encourage writing:

Writing letters and postcards to relatives.

Keeping a diary.

Keeping a book journal where your child answer a few questions about each book they finish reading.

Setting them tasks of copying paragraphs from a favourite book of theirs.

Study with Sheikh Haitham and other Tullab in UK

2009-03-16T01:46:00.008Z

One of the scholars we in the UK are fortunate to have, is Sheikh Haitham al-Haddad. Anyone who studies deen comes across many teachers and scholars. A few of them stand out as particularly insightful, particularly knowledgeable and particularly conscious of Allah and Sheikh Haitham is one of those people, ma sha Allah.

In my interactions with him over the past years whether in lessons or through phone-calls I've found him to be deeply concerned about the wellbeing of the Muslims especially here in the UK and when I have contemplated his positions on various issues I have found a strong sense of consciousness in him about the consequences on the ground, of any verdict he gives. He also makes us feel conscious of our actions and their consequences in the wider community - it's not just about whether or not you could do something, it's also about whether or not you should.

He is an educator in the true sense of the word and will rarely give you a one word verdict on any issue, preferring to give you the tools you need as a student to understand and come to conclusions yourself and to appreciate the reasons for differences of opinion. I've rarely heard him talk at length about himself and he dislikes using the word 'I' excessively, which has become a rare quality. He is not in it to gain popularity - in fact flattery does not impress Sheikh Haitham, nor will it gain you his attention. (He doesn't want to be present when people are introducing him at a talk or event and you can see that he is uncomfortable with any sort of praise). Action: a willingness to be a doer, not just a talker; do impress him however. I have always found him to be attentive yet conscious of keeping a level of formality in discussions and many times he has given me personal advice which I have really valued.

I've found that he cares profusely about issues that concern women and their modesty and role in society and I believe that that is because of his real sense of Gheerah for Muslim women collectively. The only thing that prevents him from doing more than he wants to is his packed schedule.

May Allah make his family the coolness of his eyes and reward them all for their sacrifices. Aameen.

My point in writing all of the above is that when you get the opportunity to study with someone like Sheikh Haitham, you've got to seize that opportunity! And here is one, so don't miss it (and there will be a creche insha Allah). By the way, don't be scared of the word 'Salaf'. It simply means the early Muslims, the sahabah and the few generations after them, those who passed on this deen to us and are our ultimate role-models:

Understanding of the Salaf

Date: Saturday 28th & Sunday 29th March 09 (8.30am -7.30pm)
Lecturers: Sheikh Haitham al-Haddad, Ustadh Fraz Farhat, Ustadh Abu Rumaysah
Topics: Who and what are the salaf? Are their statements and explanations of the text or their own understanding? Are their statements taken as proof and hold authority?

REGISTER NOW
Open to Brothers and Sisters
Course Synopsis: This is the third part in the Sabeel Manhaj al-Istidlaal Series; the first stage dealt with the Sacred Sources of Islam the second stage dealt with veneration of the Sacred Texts (the Quran and the Sunnah) and following them. This course will be a study of the principles of understanding and interpreting these sources and the role of the understanding of the Salaf and the Arabic language in this.
Course Description: Muslims are constantly exposed to diverse methods of understanding Islam and therefore for many, confusion is caused in determining the best or most correct way of understanding Islam. It is essential to formulate the right mechanisms that enable a person to decide for oneself in a convincing and confident manner. Many practicing Muslims lack the necessary depth to analyse variant discourses on a given matter in order to be able to endorse correct statements and rulings and reject incorrect ones. Also as evident as ever, some Muslims do not base their Islamic Knowledge and learning on a structured study of its disciplines but on an arbitrary attendance of Islamic courses and lectures. Another important aspect that is missing from our studies is how to live Islam and act upon our knowledge. A fundamental part of the retreat is tarbiyyah, which is fundamentally gained from interaction and learning important skills. The nature of the knowledge imparted primarily focus on principles that will help us apply them in our lives. Therefore at this Sabeel Retreat you will be provided with an academic and structured course that will enable you to learn the tools to conceptualise scattered information into a solidified framework as well as understand, analyse and practice many concepts independently and effectively.This is the third part in the Sabeel Manhaj al-Istidlaal Series; the first stage dealt with the sources of Islam (masadir al-talaqi); the second stage dealt with veneration of the texts and following the scripture. This course will be a study of the principles of understanding and interpreting these sources and the role of the understanding of the Salaf and the Arabic language. The study will Allah-willing impart knowledge that is rudimentary, distinctive and exceptional.

What you will learn regarding the role of the Arabic Language
Why is Arabic so important?
What is so significant of the aspects of the language that affects the understanding of the texts?
If there are different definitions of a word according to the language, sharia, custom etc – which one do we take?
The Style of the Quran – is it poetry, prose?
What are the linguistic miracles of the Quran?
Can rulings be derived from translations of the Quran?

What you will learn regarding the Understanding of the Salaf
Who and what are the salaf?
Are their statements explanations of the text or their own understanding?
Are their statements taken as proof and do they hold authority?
Can there be a later ijma’ that contradicts an early ijma’?
Did the later scholars have opinions that the early scholars did not hold?
Ijtihad Vs. Understanding of the Early Generations

Can we follow the ‘concessions’ or ‘irregular opinions’ attributed to some scholars?

Seminar Price: £50 (Includes: Course Notes, Lunch and Refreshments on both days)
Creche will be available for a fee

DON'T MISS OUT - REGISTER HERE NOW

Hendon Halaqah Website

2009-03-07T21:01:00.002Z

Please check out the new Hendon Halaqah website.

We will put up a summary of the topic each week...please feel free to use the notes for your local circles....

FB

What we need from our people of knowledge...

2009-02-20T00:00:00.004Z

What we need from our people of knowledge......is what a child needs from its parents.

We depend on you more than you realise and sometimes more than you are prepared for.

You are individuals, but when you work together, we feel like a family.

If you argue and fight in front of us, we feel insecure, anxious and unsure.

If you label one another, it causes us pain, because we hate to see those who nurtured us dishonoured.

When you insist on going it alone, we worry that we might have to choose sides.

When you get together and work things out, we feel elated because we feel we are united towards one vision.

You have the ability to inspire us and even to demoralise us.

If you put our interests above your own, we appreciate your benevolence.

If you let your egos get the better of you, we feel that you are just trying to buy our affections and build your own empires.

If you need to make amends, we will never think less of you if you apologise. It will only serve to raise your status in our eyes.

But if you are too stubborn to admit when you are wrong, we lose respect for you.

If you are quick to criticise each other, we too learn to be condemning and unforgiving.

If you have husn udh-dhan of each other, we have husn udh-dhan of you.

Even if you disagree in private, we need to see you united for truth, in public.